I second @Sharny
Sex aside, sounds very very toxic to be calling you names and being fine when you’re crying and feeling upset. You deserve better x
@Sharny @Radka @Sophie it’s hard to explain but the thing that’s effecting me the most isn’t the sex, it’s the constant play on my emotions. The little glimmer of hope when I start to feel horny and a little sexy, the looking forward to him coming home and the hope that we will have a nice time together and connect, and then the instant mood change when he’s rude to me, me getting upset and realising I’m not going to feel connected to him, we aren’t going to make love, I’m going to be left feeling shitty until the next time he wants to have sex when I’m not even feeling turned on
It is complicated if you have babies with him. Have you tried talking it out? Be clear and precise about your feelings. No pointing fingers just I feel and I'd like it to be this way and I'd suggest... Consider sending him msgs before he comes home to let him know you're ready for a good night and after all these if he still continued reconsider the relationship.
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@Miracle yes I have tried many times to tell him. Yesterday I told him I was excited to see him all day and was happy and then he just comes home and starts sweating and being rude to me, I told him it upsets me etc and he said he doesn’t give a shit. Today, I have put it in the past, cooked him a nice meal for when he comes home from work, have done my hair and makeup. He literally just came home and the FIRST thing he said to me was ‘you look wierd’ and then started complaining about something and being rude. Even when he doesn’t mean it in a bad way, he always says something negative about how I look. He NEVER compliments me and I don’t remember him ever calling me pretty since we first started dating. I don’t want to send him messages insinuating anything sexual because for some reason he finds it a turn off when I’m horny or try to initiate first.
@Miracle Last night I was so frustrated I shouted at him that I was horny and wanted to have sex but he ruined the day, he then told me that me talking like that is a turn off and he won’t get hard
There are some people that enjoy treating others like this, they are called narcissistic abusers. He will never appreciate you, it is his high upsetting you, something you can’t change. The best you can do is get out of this. I know it’s difficult to get out of the cycle, please try to find some support groups in your local area. I’m saying all of this from personal experience.
I consider this as abuse, get rid of him.