in England
Damaged by a friendship?
I know it’s common for a lot of people to have insecurities or worries from a past relationship but do you think it’s possible with a friendship?
My best friend from age 12 - 28, was a very flakey friend, she would always cancel plans or arrive hours late but I used to feel hurt because she always showed up for other people which made me feel very undervalued. Eventually I stopped reaching out to make arrangements and by no surprise within the last 6 years the friendship is non existent. I’m 34 now and if a friend cancels plans, doesn’t message back, doesn’t reach out for a while I feel so low about it! I’m paranoid people don’t like me, feel like I’m not enough, I’m not fun, I’m not interesting etc. When in reality these friends probably just got busy as we all have kids and jobs and busy lives. Has anyone else ever felt ‘damaged’ by a friendship 😕
Show your support
@Rachel you’re right, with this particular friend I always said ‘oh no worries’ when she would cancel or flake, if I could go back in time I wish I said ‘that’s really annoying you’re cancelling again because I have planned my weekend around seeing you’… which was true! I honestly think her friendship has left me with friendship issues and she has no clue about!
I wouldn't admit to planning my weekend around seeing someone, as they would probably love the fact that they have inconvenienced you that much. I would just tell them how annoyed I am.
yes I have trouble trusting people when being friends with them as well. it can happen with anyone.
Trending in our community
Yes, I feel like this with most of my friendships at the moment. Like I said on another post, we need to stop normalizing not seeing people for weeks or months because it enables people to be bad friends.