SAHM to a toddler and really struggling every day
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@Sando good point. But I’m struggling at the point where I think if everyone found it this hard surely no one had more than one child?
I mean some people do only have 1 child for similar reasons, even with support! I don’t think that means you’re bad at it, just that perhaps you take things relating to being a sahm more deeply and that in turn can burn you out quicker than say someone who is more chill about it. But the chill sahm may not be able to manage work stress or other types of stress as easily. Also if you have things like adhd (which lots of women don’t get diagnosed for until much later in life), or even thyroid issues that impact brain fog and energy levels, then this could also make stressful situations a lot more challenging and overstimulating
My toddler is in the clingy phase and sometimes i just have to let him cry it out. I need space and time to just do the simplest things. It’s ok to let them watch Tv or just simply cry. Of course if they’re hurting that’s a different story but i need to be able to take care of our home and myself to better care for him. I always try to get my son out as much as i can so he can better behave in public, i take him to the park to tire him out and it’s been helping with behaviors. Hang in there hope this helps
Fellow SAHM without any family or friends nearby, only visit every few months if that. I find telling him before I’m doing something and giving him the opportunity to come with me “I’m going to the kitchen, want to come?” Helps. He’ll still whinge but I pick him up and we go together. A toddler tower for the kitchen has saved me when cooking / tidying! He’ll play at the sink with water whilst I do it. Some days are better than others, it’s really hard although I’d still say we’re managing ok. I try and lower my expectations and allow more time for getting out the house / getting ready as he’ll be clung to me the whole time slowing me down.
I have three kids. I think the biggest factor for me was my kids age gaps which is 5 years, so I was pregnant with my second my first was 4 turning 5 days after I had the baby then my third, my second was 4 turned 5 a month before the baby came. Also once I had another one the older ones would be in school except when I had the 3rd we were homeschooling so I made my own schedule. I couldnt do close in age kids 🙈 So for me it wasn’t hard juggling things, but also my husband is never like on top of me to keep things a certain way, if I clean one day and not clean for 2 days, he knows I will. And he wasn’t as helpful when we just had 1 or 2 only when the 3rd on came he started helping more. My first two were very easy kids my third is a wild animal and if she doesn’t go outside every single day she’s a pain in the butt. So I also think taking into consideration how the kids are helps. I’m sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed, I hope you find something that works better for you.
I'm doing okay. The house is almost constantly a mess but everyone is fed 🤪 I do drop my son off at daycare... right before I go to work myself. Then dad picks him up a few hours later and its his turn
The best way to manage is to try and change perspective. It’s always guna be hard but if you go in knowing ok they’re really do need me a lot right now, it makes it manageable as you expect the behaviour. Lean in to it. They’re growing and going through so much. It can be so so hard but for now, they matter more than chores etc
Girl being a toddler mom is HARD, I have toddler twins and I’m losing my mind almost constantly. You’re not taking being a sahm “too deeply” or having an overly negative perspective. Motherhood is beautiful and rewarding BUT it’s also draining and you’re not wrong or doing anything wrong for feeling that way. I’ve gotten a little better here and there with handling things but every day is still a struggle, feel free to dm me if you want ❤️
I feel anyone that says not struggling at all or managing okay coukd share with us their daily routines. Some people are sahm and still out their toddlers in day care a few hours a week, or have family or other help etc. that would probably make it easier. Or more importantly have very supportive partners that do their fair share around the house, maybe even a good salary which significantly reduces stress in the sahm.