in Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

I’m so full of rage & I have no one to talk to about it.

NOT looking for advice; just venting cause I have no one to listen to me. It seems like no one gets it. And that there’s so much judgement that it’s hard to try to explain to anyone who doesn’t get it. I don’t like feeling so fucking angry. But I try so hard. And still I end up angry. Been in therapy since I was 7 years old; i know dbt skills galore, I see a psychiatrist, i got prescribed Zoloft but both my mom & sister experienced serotonin syndrome from taking it before so I’m hesitant to give it a go. I think I need an as needed sedative medication to help with my bouts of rage; but idk how to explain that without sounding like I’m drug seeking. I’m awful at regulating my emotions especially when I never get a fucking break to be awake with peace & time to care for myself. I just dunno anymore. I’m seemingly the only one capable of actively watching our child. I never wanted to be like my own mother. But I sound like her when I’m angry. And then I’m just mad at myself.

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Message me if you want. I’m on Zoloft but tried like 4 or more before finding success with this one. I also used to have lorazepam to take when I started feeling like I was spinning out. I’ve also done lots of DBT. And CBT. It’s a lot… and motherhood has highlighted certain parts of myself I thought I had pushed aside

@Elizabeth yeah I’ve actually tried Zoloft and a handful of other meds when I was a teenager, I’m pretty sure I already experienced serotonin syndrome from both Zoloft and Prozac but I was 14-16 years old and just brushed off as over dramatic and manipulative until my mom experienced it herself from taking Zoloft then she apologized Hahahaha idk. Part of me wants to give it a go cause maybe now in life it’ll be fine & helpful, but a bigger part of me is hesitant cause I think I know how it’ll pan out. But yeah I’ve got dbt & cbt knowledge & skills, but my brain doesn’t always have time to access those tools before I have a reaction, yanno

I’m gonna be honest I know having the tools of DBT and CBT is important but they really don’t do shit for me in the heat of the moment lolllll - I don’t find them particularly useful in general. I try to sing that little song “breathe in, breathe out, I’m not gonna scream and shout I said breathe in, breathe out, I’m not gonna scream and shout” 😂

Does the doctor who prescribed Zoloft know your history and family history with it?? I would imagine they wouldn’t suggest it if they did

@Elizabeth they did. They said it was “rare & straNge that both my mom & sister experienced that, but everyone is different, so give it a shot” lol

“Everyone is different” it’s called a family history lol what

@Elizabeth yeah LOL that’s kinda what I’m sitting here thinking everyday staring at the full script sitting there in its bottle

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