For people that grew up with a step parent-what things did your parent do to make sure you still had a special bond with them?

I have step kids that are grown. But if I would grow up with a step parent, I would be happy if both of them gave me love together and also a separate time with my parent one on one. Kids can grow close to step parents, too. They would like them to always be in their life.

I grew up with my mum and step dad. I had an almost instant bond with my step dad and have grown up seeing him as my father figure. I will always call him my dad and honestly I forget that we're not blood because that makes no difference to us. I think the important thing is to just let the child(ren) have time to connect and adjust. There should be no pressure and the step parent should be there to be supportive when the child does choose to come to them. Discipline can be left for the blood parent in the meantime. Both my parents worked full time so I got to spend lots of time with them separately and together. I think the main thing is letting the kid have the space to warm to the step parent when they're ready. If I wanted to build a fort under the table and play with my teddies while my mum was out my dad would let me, he never pressured me for my love or attention. It didn't take long until we became father daughter and my favourite spot in the house was at the top of his armchair like a parrot :)

A good tip would also to have activities that are special to each parent. For example only my dad would play and watch football with me so that gave us something to bond over. It was something that'd encourage me to go to him rather than my mum. It is also his passion so I felt close to him when he taught me about it.

One on one time with the step parent and your biological parent! Your step parent just trying to connect and be supportive, taking an interest in your life and listens to you. Have empathy! Don’t bitch or put down your other parent (unless you have that relationship or safe space) as eventually it can turn nasty and you start to resent your step parent, and it drives a wedge between family members and perhaps your biological parents (especially if it was a messy divorce)