Tempted to msg this girl on my FB

We became friends on facebook through a mum's group thing. We don't live anywhere near each other. Every time she posts pictures of her with her LO or LO on their own, I can't take my eyes off how happy he is. Their bond is immaculate and I'm feeling myself getting emotional writing this because I envy it. I know sharing your life on social media could be a story different to what could he happening behind closed doors and whatever but anyways, my 3 year old doesn't look at me like that. You might think how silly this post is but I feel like I don't bring happiness to my child's life. We fight daily, shouting, calling names, tantrums, tears, aggression. I'm trying to read and watch how to be a calmer parent but so far it's not working. I just want my baby to gleam, feel happy, content, let his guard down. I feel like a effing failure tbh. If I knew I'd be the mum I am today, it would have stopped me from having children. I also have another baby whose 1.5y/old. Lovely home, amazing partner, I'm a stay at home mum. I just don't know why I don't have a blossoming connection with my first child. God shouldn't have blessed me with these babies because i do not deserve them and they certainly didn't deserve to be brought into this world with a mum like me. I just want to know from her like how's it going? Is it okay to do this? Sorry to rant, I feel shit.

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I am listening to the following audio book The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) by Philippa Perry and my relationship with my 3 year old improved she was very jealous of her baby sister x

Start with why are you fighting, what are the tantrums about and can you in any way avoid them, take a different approach in how you’re reacting in that situation? I obviously don’t know what’s going on, but I would try to choose my battles and try to avoid the fight or reduce the number of fights this way. Also maybe try to be more affectionate, they are still so little and need lots of mama’s love. My girl still asks to sit on my lap probably daily, and we do so eating breakfast or dinner. I also give her space to calm down when she’s back from nursery all day. She sometimes tells me to ‘go away’ when she’s back, and instead of taking it as an offence I understand she needs space to calm down, as 5 mins later she runs to me asking for something.

@Kristyna I've heard about this a handful of times, will look into the audio version thank you x

Sounds like you’re doing the right thing by trying to learn how to cope and handle your own emotions. Please don’t compare yourself to others and beat yourself up about it, it’s wasted energy, just put that into trying to deepen your bond. It’s a tough age, and lots to try and work through but I really hope feel better about things soon x

@Kelly thank you for your reply Mama. Yours and the others' comments have definitely lifted my mood. I've been asking myself where do I start to become a better person for me and my parenting etc. I think reflecting on what triggers me might be the first step? And how to calm down, see my own emotions before I snap at my little one for having his own big emotions. Parenting is exhausting no kidding. Thank you again x

Absolutely the right and responsible thing to do ❤️ It is exhausting, and if we’re all honest, I’m sure we’ll all admit there’s been moments we’re not proud of, but it’s a learning curve, and the fact that you’re acknowledging this and trying to act on it proves how much you care. A bad mother would never even consider this, just remember that x

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