Smoking

So we have an agreement which has been discussed before our baby came. My MIL said she would no longer smoke in her home so it’s comfortable for us to visit because it wreaks and is so strong , and she will not smoke on the days she knows she’s seeing us so then does take some planning. Which was us meeting in the middle of her smoking habit. Agreed to by all. She broke that agreement , since my baby has been born we went to her home 1 time in summer and she’s been to me 5 times. My daughter is 7 months. There have been numerous talks and I’m tired. Tired of the subject. I invited her to stay with us and she broke the agreement but also told my husband to lie to me. What are we doing at this point?

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My partner, and his parents all smoke. I did use to before i was pregnant so I understand where you are coming from. I put down rules, no smoking near her and wash your hands and take your jacket off if you can to hold her. I still hate they all do it but I think you have to stand up for your child, you are their voice. It makes me feel so horrible telling them what to do but I know I have to. xx

Yes for sure I expressed how I first felt about smoking 3 months before she was born. It’s very hard because there have been a further 3 conversations since then and we have been to her home in the summer she has come to us 6 times but her commute is quite some time and she doesn’t drive, it’s tough but she’s just not listening and isn’t ready to give up we’re trying to meet with the expectation that her home does not smell because she is stopping smoking in it so we can all visit and that she doesn’t smoke on the days she’s seeing us which is quite fair. When seeing her last back is August she was here for a few hours then asked my husband if she can quickly smoke he said no mum. The following day we all had a family day out was nice I was dropped home with my baby and he went on with mum to supermarket she got out the car and lit one up he said what you doing mum you know what about the smoking she said well she will only know if you tell her he said what I will why you smoking

She said it’s not lying if she don’t know she will only know if you say. Which is wrong… so he was very oissed off he made her get in the shower when they got home whist she was in there he told me and said remain calm until she goes home I have had a pop. It’s now just left me in a place where my trust has been that bit affected. Our brother and sister in law have similar views and have now just got a 1 month old so when seeing them smoking was brought up we shared what had happened and they are upset by this too and they presumed things would follow suit as our views and discussions overtime would work. But this is the situation and honestly not sure at this point what to do

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