My son is not eating

Okay, to preface, we have seen the doctor and we’ve gone to specialists and he’s had every test under the sun and there’s nothing wrong fundamentally with him. Which is a good thing, however our little chonk a monk decided to stop gaining weight at 9 months old. Now 16 months old and refusing most foods. Our oldest never had this issue he was always on a curve, albeit he was a small kiddo, too, but he never just “stopped” growing like our baby has. He stopped at 18 lbs and hasn’t gained. When he did gain almost a pound, he lost it, plus some, as quickly as it was gained. He’s a short boy, but always has been so although a low percentile on height, he was always larger for weight until now. And I’m so worried because he WONT EAT. He only likes fruit (some, not all), French toast stick (usually), cheese, sometimes a pbj, snack bars like breakfast bars (only fruity with too much sugar but it’s all he seems to eat sometimes so of course I offer it). He won’t eat any meats, veggies, rice, most pasta (he does like Mac n cheese usually). He likes ketchup, eggs… won’t eat potatoes in any form except sometimes he will eat sweet potatoes. Sometimes he will eat cereal, but not always. Has anyone experienced this and how did you navigate it? I feel like I’m failing him and like I’m failing as a mother. I’m so incredibly stressed about it and I’m trying not to let it show because I don’t want people to know how concerned I am. 😣

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Hi! Fellow momma to an 18 pounder here. I don’t have much advice, just solidarity. A few things I have noticed that help for us: -Many times he refuses a food at first, he’ll eventually come around to try it if I offer a different vehicle (i.e., if he won’t eat it from his baby spoon, sometimes he’ll eat it from an adult spoon. If he won’t eat it from any spoon, sometimes he’ll eat it with his fingers. also, his preferred method changes by the hour). -Ignoring him when he fusses in the high chair sometimes works to calm him down. I think he feeds off the attention and if we don’t give it to him he gets bored of the drama and sometimes starts playing with (and maybe eventually eating) his food instead. -My husband is so much more effective at feeding him than I am. He totally picks up on my anxiety and shuts down a lot of times I try to feed him.

-The timing of when we offer him milk is pretty important for us. He gets 16 oz/day (4 after breakfast, 4 after lunch, 8 before bed). I try to make sure he gets the milk at least 2 hours before his next feeding is supposed to be. -He sometimes eats better if I don’t offer 3 meals and 2 snacks a day. A lot of times, if we sleep in a little I’ll skip his first meal and just give him his milk so he’s nice and hungry for the next meal. -If he’s sick or teething, all bets are off. I thought we had a small break from teething between the first 8 and molars but I was wrong. To my surprise he cut two molars and I had no idea, but it explains a recent food strike we dealt with that was unexplainable until now. Maybe some of these things will help. Try to ignore the urge to compare your baby to the 90th percentile babies all over Instagram because it just spikes the anxiety more which adds another layer of nonsense to the feeding equation! Hang in there!

My baby didn’t really like to be contained in a highchair or booster, so giving him freedom to move helped him stay interested longer. He eats most meals standing at our counter on a helper stool. He also does okay at his toddler table and likes us to sit with him there 😂 if it’s not too messy of foods you are offering, you can leave it out for him to come back to when he wants. Have you tired to sneak in fat (extra butter) and blended whole milk cottage cheese into things like Mac and cheese scrambled eggs? My boy also loves guacamole/smashed avacados/too good yogurt/baked salmon if you want to try those. One of the baby dietitians I follow on instagram lets her toddler gnaw on sticks of butter for fat/calories.

There is no judgement because I know how it feels to be trying your best and nothing seems to work. I have recently become very interested in nutrition and have been doing a lot of research to make sure I set my son up for the best chance he has. I’ve realized it’s my job to provide him nutritious meals..they are so smart and can figure out at a young age that if that don’t eat ABC, they will get XYZ..so I am not saying this is happening to you, but some toddlers will hold off for the sugar/processed food because they know they eventually get them. My son loves “snacks” and will cry sometimes if I open the pantry and not give him the things I take on the go for emergencies..but I don’t give in most times and he eventually forgets about it, or I offer him yogurt or banana to see if he is really hungry.

@DMS he won’t eat anything that has something extra “snuck in”. He knows every time and even if it’s something he likes, he will refuse to eat it. The problem is he stopped eating the foods he usually ate like normal stuff and in a last ditch effort I began offering breakfast bars and cereal which he still is picky about and won’t always eat them. He used to eat beans and beef and certain veggies, not anymore. We did baby led weaning with both boys. Our oldest loves his food and he even eats broccoli at breakfast. Our baby unfortunately just doesn’t want anything to do with it if it isn’t exactly what he wants. He loves bananas and yogurt and usually cheesy eggs so that’s good, but I just wish he’d eat more variety because it makes it very difficult to always have what he will eat as a safe food. For example, he’s had 3 bananas today. Three. Bananas. lol 😂 we JUST bought them yesterday and between the two of them we have 4 left now. Yogurt is usually gone in 3 days. (1/2)

@DMS we go through eggs and cheese pretty fast, too. And we don’t have a ton of money these days unfortunately. It just isn’t going. As far as it used to. And it’s exhausting to try and figure out a meal he will actually partake in. I know to keep offering foods, but I worry because he’s so small and just sooo picky. Maybe it’s because I compare him to our first born, he literally loves food. He will eat such a variety. In fact, it’s easier to name what he won’t eat. I think I’m more concerned about future him not eating things. I really try to limit his processed sugar intake. And that’s another reason it gets so difficult. Just trying to always have fruit and yogurt and cheese and eggs on hand. (2/2)

@Anna omg mine too with the sneaking things in. It drives me crazy when my in laws tell me “well I thought maybe if I mixed a little peanut butter in with it he’d eat it!” He immediately acts betrayed regardless of what the attempted combo was. I won’t even try anymore! I don’t need him to have anymore reasons to think he can’t trust food. One day he was struggling with his yogurt and my step MIL thought of this “brilliant” plan to mix the yogurt in with his milk and put it in his milk cup. I was like no absolutely do not do that I don’t need him not trusting his milk!!!

That made me think of another thing, anytime we are trying something experimental (for example smoothies, milk flavored with cocoa powder, etc.) I put it in a specific cup so he knows it’s not regular milk or water and doesn’t feel betrayed lol

@Anna it sounds like you are doing everything right so don’t be hard on yourself! Every baby is different and goes through phases, my son definitely eat less when teething and favors milk. And yes..SO many bananas 🍌 at least those are not expensive!

Hi! Chiming in .... Really late Friday night/early Sat morning.... I'm audhd, and there's a condition called arfid . It's seen in children and adults both

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/arfid.html#:~:text=What%20Is%20ARFID%3F,poor%20growth%20and%20poor%20nutrition.

It says more commonly seen in boys..... But they are forgetting here that in the case of those who are autistic , it's in boys or girls..... But that's a case of the broad reaching problems of "girls and women don't have x" For autistic people arfid is because .... Can't stand textures, only wanting " safe foods" ( common foods that are go to foods) .... Just to give a few examples of how afraid looks different when it's comorbid with autism spectrum disorder. .... As an autistic person myself ( albeit very very very late diagnosed.... ) arfid is mentioned a lot in the adult autistic community

So it actually could be that he can't stand certain textures of food and things like that

And I have a tiny peanut. So I get it. He's gained 1 pound since his last visit to the recent one. Granted my son has always been tiny ( except for head size .... He's a bobblehead) .... So I totally understand your worries about size. Ayden looks like a long baby ... Because so many other toddlers look like 2-3 year olds already ....

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