Rant

So my mom can’t stop kissing my baby. She knows my rules of washing hands before handling her and kissing or getting all up in her face.. She said “sorry it was an accident” the first two times, but then today she said “oh please it’s not like I’m diseased. I deserve it after all I’ve helped with. Plus it was an accident”… she does this every day and it’s right in front of me and I tell her to stop but she just won’t. She claims it’s an accident but how can it be an accident every single day? Also she has a sinus infection and actively complains about it all the time? But she isn’t ‘diseased’..? She’s risking my baby and I feel the need to protect my baby from her. She isn’t from nearby, she flew in to help out during and after delivery. She said she’d leave once we get a handle on things. Because of her kissing I’ve stopped asking her to hold her or help with the baby because I have zero trust in her. She’s helped with so many things like making a beautiful area outside for me and baby to relax in, cooking, deep cleaning, getting groceries, buying things (and she’s in debt but still has been sacrificing and buying things), which is all so amazing of her… but she this morning was crying to me saying that she’s sad because we don’t ask for help because we don’t need her anymore.. and it’s so sad to me because she really wants to help but she genuinely does not respect my rules with my newborn child. I want her to go home just because I want to protect my baby, not because I’m not grateful or anything, but my mom does not want to leave and her heart breaks thinking about it. Also I know if I bring this up to her she’ll EXPLODE. She has a history of doing that with anything because of entitlement of being my mom… she did it at my wedding, during my birth, etc… she will guilt me because she bought us all these things, helped with so many things, and think that setting a boundary is me being ungrateful… I told my dad all of this and he has a tendency to let her get away with doing anything she wants in order to keep her from exploding… my brother is the only one who really set good boundaries with her and I think I need to but idk how without her telling me she thinks I don’t love or appreciate her. She also saved us the first night because our baby wouldn’t stop crying and I couldn’t figure it out but my mom did and got the problem solved and we’ve been smooth sailing since she helped us… she literally pulled an all nighter with our baby… this was before she started overstepping my boundaries otherwise I would have continued to try on my own with my husband… As of right now I’m holding back tears being around her, thinking about how my baby could come down with a sickness any day because of her. And I blame myself because idk what to do because I don’t want to cause harm to my relationship with my mom, but I need to protect my child. I feel like a bad mom for not knowing how to protect my child… My child’s protection comes first, of course. And I’ve been keeping my baby away from her the best I can even though she’s staying in our house… but I feel like I’m failing and I need something to be done… my mom has no idea I’m feeling this way and is so so happy, which I don’t see often because she struggles with mental health problems… but I know if I tell her how I’m feeling she’ll tell me my feelings are offensive and then take my rules with my baby as suggestions because my feelings are involved… anyways… idk what to do