Bills !!!

We have separate and joint accounts. We just pay what needs to be paid and don’t keep score. I buy things for my step son and don’t expect to be paid back because we are a family.

@Christina is the joint account things that shared expenses ? Then anything additional for step child just whatever you feel comfortable with spending ?

Not really. We have the utility bills come out of the joint account and I pay for my stepsons after school program and put money in his lunch account from the joint account. Everything else we use the joint account for is random. Sometimes we use it at the grocery store and sometimes we use personal accounts or credit cards. If I am out shopping without my husband I usually use my credit card instead of the joint account card regardless if I am buying things for the whole family or just myself.

When I buy things for my step son it is usually he needs something like clothes or shoes or I am buying presents for Christmas or birthdays. If I am buying something for my daughters and it is something my step son might want too then I buy him one.

I let him take care of the step kids and I’ll offer to help when I can and am willing. But ultimately there not my financial responsibility in my opinion. I think he would agree but I’m curious now and am going to ask his opinion.

@Kels please share his response . I’ve gotten mixed responses and I know there’s not a right answer for everyone but I’m curious because I like to try and see things from different perspectives

Welp he didn’t agree with me. He said we’re together and that means the kids are part of that. I still disagree with him. Told him his kids have 2 parents to pay for things. I shouldn’t be expected to do so. I have my own daughter to worry about. So a big reason behind my thoughts on this is I don’t have the money to support all 3 of my step kids. I also didnt choose to have them. ( I do choose to be there step parent) regardless my priority is my daughter. If I had the funds to support everyone I would but I don’t.

@Kels interesting . That’s where it becomes challenging too because how is it that we have no legal say over our step children but then we are expected to provide for them as if they were fully ours. It’s like people are expecting us to be parents only when we’re needed . But suddenly when it comes to decisions with the kids we’re not parents ..,

I don’t know the “right” answer - but for us, we are a family, all of the kids are OURS. Our money is all together, and we pay everything from that money. There’s nothing really “his” or “mine” about our money and how we spend it. It’s easier for us, and it’s worked for many years. 🤷🏼‍♀️

My husband is responsible for any of his kids needs outside of child support. I would help if needed but i'm not financially responsible for them. Everything else for our family together I help with. My husband is fine with this and actually it was his thought that I should not be responsible financially.