Ghosted by my midwife

My baby was born 4 months ago, in June. A couple of weeks ago my midwife messaged me on Facebook to ask how the birth went. She was my midwife for my first and second baby so as unprofessional as it sounds (I didn’t/ don’t have her as a friend on Facebook so she would have had to look me up)I just thought she was being nice and asking about my birth experience. Anyway I replied telling her about the birth- it was quite traumatic, the hospital told me not to go in because I “didn’t sound like I was in labour and my waters hadn’t broken”. I then had my baby at home, born in her amniotic sac. The paramedics kept telling me “the baby’s not coming yet, you’re no where close to giving birth” and 3 pushes later she was born. Anyway I explained all this in my message to my midwife (ex midwife I suppose) and she literally just didn’t reply. She’s read it and just ghosted me. Like you’re the one who looked me up, went out of your way and messaged me, just to then ignore me? I’m so confused and wondering if maybe she’s looking into maybe making a complaint or something who knows. I know midwives are VERY busy people and the NHS is so understaffed but why message me with no intention on replying? Plus this was weeks ago, she’s had time to message me back surely. Anyone else thinks this is abit sus?

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Ok firstly she can’t make a complaint when she’s crossed a line and messaged you out of nowhere, unprofessionally. Secondly, a complaint about you for what? You were the one who’s faced misconduct from the hospital, paramedics and the midwife that lead to your traumatic experience. Thirdly, are you going to complain? And yes it’s odd that she’s never replied but at the same time, why do you need her to?

I meant maybe she’s looking into making a complaint on my behalf, like maybe helping me make a complaint? (I never mentioned this or even talked about a complaint). It was the first thing I thought of like- maybe she’s looking into it deeper to see if there’s any paperwork/ recorded phone call to the hospital. If that makes sense. I’m not sure wether to make a complaint or even who to make a complaint to. I don’t necessarily need her to reply, I just thought it was a bit nosey of her to ask and then not having anything to say back. And just abit weird in general to pop up out of the blue, ask me about the most traumatic, vulnerable time of my life for me to completely open up to her for her then not to reply.

Ah ok. No she’d need your consent to make a complaint on your behalf. I do think it’s really out of order to message you at all asking personal things when it’s not for work then ignore you after all that. If it does bother you, I’d complain. I think getting in touch with her practice would point you in the right direction for complaints

Maybe she messaged then regretted it as it’s unprofessional so she shouldn’t be doing it then maybe panicked so just ignored you ?! Who knows … I’d just forget about it & move on

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