Due in December and don't want visitors

When my daughter was born, I allowed visitors despite already saying no. In laws showed up anyway. I allowed it. My mil had "sniffles but just allergies". Long story short, we ended up with RSV. Last week my mil asked when we expected to deliver and what hospital. I told her we're unsure what exact date, but regardless, no one is going to be visiting us in hospital or at home for at least a couple of weeks due to our daughter's suffering from RSV right after birth. We don't want a repeat. We want to protect our children and we also need time to bond and heal (I'm having c section). She'd offer to help me, but her idea of helping with our first baby was "you clean the house and I'll hold the baby". She'd never leave and my husband wasn't from with her. I've very obviously not forgiven her (she never apologized or taken responsibility). I'm not over it. She's pushing me over the edge and has said horrible nasty things about me to the family. Her sister has 2 daughter in laws that are pregnant and have set the same boundaries, but my mil is the only one who has a problem with it.

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I recommend getting on the same page with your husband very quickly. Unfortunately, this is his family and he is really going to have to hold that line for you guys. And it’s a conversation that’s much easier now than later.

@Ali he's actually on board with this. It was a discussion during her last visit. Birth with our daughter was traumatic. I wasn't back from surgery yet and his mother was holding her before I even had the opportunity. (He was held accountable for the unwanted visitors and me being next to last to even hold our child).

I’m glad he’s understanding, but he needs to be willing to get on board and hold the line now. I’m honestly petty enough to just tell someone that they aren’t allowed around my kid based on their own actions and complete disregard for me. I would be making her apologize for how she handled that situation before entertaining her even meeting my kid or seeing me currently with my other child. But again, I’m super petty.

Sorry but your mother in laws feeling don't matter and it should be your husband that sets those boundaries and explains, if he doesn't then you definitely should, i would also tell her you are doing it as after her visiting your newborn last time, they ended yp with RSV MIL think they are entitled, they've already had their babies

They don’t need a reason for u to not want visitors. Just say I’m not having visitors . If they ask why say I don’t want to . Period MILs are so entitled… put boundaries asap don’t worry about hurting feelings … don’t need to give them expectations…

If you tell the hospital staff no visitors they won’t let anyone in

Stay strong on what you want. I didn't and found it such an intrusion. I spent time tidying up for, buying food and stressing about visitors when I could have been focusing on my baby. I think this stress contributed to the failure of my breastfeeding journey (I exclusively pump now). I also had plenty of offers to hold baby but no offers to actually do anything useful at all for me. Plain selfish. Please don't feel any guilt for advocating for yourself and your child.

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