@Audrey at face value I can see how it would seem “judgy or mean” to exclude some yet..WE ALL JUDGE who is worth our time. To say kind people do not judge is simply false. If a “gf” only reaches out if you’re able to meet her at a bar to play trivia and get a drink or if she is having a crisis than is she really your girlfriend? Ehh pry not. Plus if she doesn’t have capacity to be there for you or even check up on you then is she your gf? I think I just answered my own question. Thanks for your response!
I'd feel bad being left out of friends' showers when I was single. Just because they aren't at the same stage doesn't mean they don't want to celebrate and be part of your joy. Sounds mean and judgy on your part to me.