Feel pure resentment towards my husband

Over my postpartum I clearly realised that I hate being married I felt single but under the marriage umbrella where I had to maintain the home and do childcare mainly by myself,the husband helped but did nothing else in the house and would mainly drink the previous night so that he is hangover the next day almost so that he is not of use to me. His mum came weekly to help but again no particular day she committed but atleast she did it consistently on a weekly basis but it came with all sorts of pressure of making sure the house is tidy.. My mother helped me a lot during my pregnancy and postpartum both emotionally and supplying me with food although she didn’t come often I would go to her house for respite and would help with baby. I feel overwhelmed cleaning the house,getting baby ready and taking him to groups by myself,the driving around and having a baby crying is the hardest part,unrealistic expectations from family/in laws,the fact that my husband don’t not clean after himself and makes sure he is drunk days that’s he is off so that he is not of use to me next day!! People expect woman to do everything and also ask for another baby but if you look at it deeply your just by yourself so I have decided for now to put the non-hormonal coil until further notice. I hate how I feel and I feel complete resentment towards my husband,he on the other hand things that having occasion sex and “fixing up” temporary solves the problem but in reality I just hate my situation and wish I could just start my life again with me and my son in this home I created for him.is there anyone who shares the same sentiments?

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Ugh I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. It sounds like he’s an alcoholic and that needs to change.. or you should start making a plan to get out on your own..

my experience with my first born, men like this don't change. the resentment will only build, you may break down one day, balling your eyes out and begging for a change, begging for their understanding or help (at least i did) and the next day they go right back to the lousy, unsupportive partner they are. Time will go by and by the time you're ready to leave him, he will have left you with so much emotional damage you will be upset it took you so long to leave, instead of doing it sooner. Leaving my son's father was the best decision I ever made, I wish I would have ran away when I found out I was pregnant tbh. Instead I waited til my son was 2 1/2, and waiting that long came with lots of hard times ahead but worth getting out of a terrible relationship. I'm expecting my second son any day now with a truly loving and supportive partner who would never put me thru what my ex or your husband is doing. Sorry to come off so negative but I hate to see another woman in the same shoes I once wore.

You deserve so much more. You and your baby. You can do this. My post partum didn't start healing until I left my ex. It was a miserable, terrifying two plus years, and I felt so alone too. I felt like a single parent with a basically absent father benefitting from all the things a relationship comes with. Put yourself first babe, you won't regret it one day when you and your baby are thriving without him. The alcohol is a big issue and red flag too. Make a plan, and protect yourself okay ❤️

The alcohol detail here is just a major issue on its own. I wouldn’t be staying around that. You and baby deserve more x

A mother will never forget how was treated during pregnancy and after. Do yourself a favour, otherwise, you will end up being depressed.

@Geana 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼

I dealt with something similar for 3 years out of my 5.5 year relationship. It never got better, it only got worse. Postpartum I never could relax. I had to be the primary parent and take care of the home. I never had my own time but any time my ex’s time when he wasnt at work was his time. It beat me down for years. I left him with my 3 month old and it was literally the best decision of my life. I thought I had ppd and pp anxiety but it was just the stress of his drinking and lack of help, I got better almost immediately. A mother deserves support. It takes a village, not just a mom and a dad, but when it is just a mom who is stressed and overworked it isnt good for the baby. If he wont attempt to change then I say leave him, he wont change regardless and the fact that he is not trying says a lot. I wish you the best and good health ❤️

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