overstepping
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Excited *
I understand 100% as I’ve gone through it. My mother in law has even insisted that my children call her “MaMa” instead of grandma, Gigi etc. I even relate with the feeling of overstepping as you’re learning to become a mother, and do the physical task( changing, comforting etc. ) for your baby. Here’s my advice, don’t stress yourself out about it. Your mother and mother in law are beyond excited to have a grand baby. To your mom, your baby reminds her of you, and for your MIL, your baby reminds her of her son. They’re both excited as YOUR little one is now an extension of you and they’re trying to help. Keep having your partner stick up for you and remind them that this is now YOUR experience. You will speak up if and when you’re ready for help or advice. Be clear and firm about your boundaries. Your baby has a name and for that reason you’d like your mom to use it. Or you could even hint at her creating a cute nickname. Try not to get yourself worked up over it because it can
Turn into resentment. Speak up for yourself, don’t let titles and familial relationships over step your boundaries. Take a deep breath and hang in there girlie! You got this 🤍
I think it probably is just excitement and they don't mean anything by it, but mentioned it, especially to your mum she may not realise she is doing it My MIL would call our daughter her baby and even called herself mummy and I just flipped and told her not to call her her baby and that she's her nana not her mum, never happened again
If it makes you uncomfortable, speak up and tell her in a calm and respectful way. That's ok if she is excited but her excitement is not supposed to be overstepping you as a mom. Also, having a talk with MIL asking her for privacy would be needed. Why is she up at 2 am just to watch you managing your new family life. She should give you space even if you live there.
Sorry but to me you clearly have two people who want to be there for you and your baby. Sometimes we take things for granted, and don’t appreciate them until they are gone. It feels to you that they’re invading your space and taking away from your experience, probably they are but girl trust me, what I wouldn’t give to have my late mum invade my space right now. I’d advice you talk to them respectfully that you want to experience this as a couple together. In reality, in a few months you’ll be begging for them to invade your space and care for your baby so you can do other stuff, go out, work etc so just be respectful, you’ll need these women eventually.
It sounds to me like your mum is just really exited to have her first grandchild. I think it’s really sweet she’s saying that & it shows how much she loves & cares about her. My mum also does this & I feel grateful & happy that she’s so involved & wanting to be involved & loves her grandson like he’s her own. Some ppl don’t have that kind of support system. Maybe you’re being a bit over sensitive she obviously knows the baby isn’t hers she’s using these phrases as a term of endearment.