I need to vent about MIL.
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@Kayla i have jokingly told her and she continues. He asked me if i want him to talk to her but i feel what’s the point - she is the type to be nasty to me after or just continue and she will make a big deal and yell. Very narcissistic when she doesn’t get her way. I’m not sure what to do- do you think he should still talk with her?
@Daniela its hard because my husband was only raised by his mom so he does have a hard time setting boundaries. But he asked if i wanted him to speak with her and feel what’s the point. I have seen how she deals with boundary setting - yelling and being mad and she will likely continue. He also likely won’t try and set consequences for her behavior if she reacts this way. It’s hard i literally woke up today crying. It’s okay for my son to prefer others but not okay for her to constantly throw it in my face.
This IS too much! It’s not your job to judge her intentions, you just need to make sure you’re getting what you need which is 1) your baby preferring you and 2) your baby having a chance to spend time with others. I would be intentional about asking her to help with other things so that you can introduce baby to people and get baby comfortable. I wouldn’t sit down and talk to her about her behavior in a formal day - she could take it all the way wrong, instead I would communicate what you WANT which is for baby to spend time with other family members and say you’re going to focus on that. You are baby’s mom and it’s your job to socialize them more than dad does (I don’t make the rules I just have had to learn them). She will need to respect you. You can still nurture their relationship and it’s great she loves your baby but she has to respect your place. and try not to open up to her anymore like about traveling - your husband’s mom could continue to undermine you. Guard your heart!
You need to set boundaries. If your husband not going to or you feel he’s not going to do it correctly then you need to step up and cut her out some. She doesn’t need to be coming over. When she tries to take the baby, she can’t. Or don’t invite her to events. You are in control of how much you allow her to get away with. This is your son not hers. She already had a son she raised, your son is not for her to raise.
She needs to back TF off. I am sorry. Grandchildren are a privilege and not an entitlement. You need to get aggressive with her when you or other family member want to hold the baby. Probably do it a few times in a row to show her her place. Your family has to drive for hours to see her ass running around yapping about how much he needs his grandma. 🤮 you should absolutely tell your husband to cut this shit, otherwise you will do it. I was the best daughter in law until I got pregnant and my in laws lost their shit. Things like “my baby” I heard from my MIL mouth ALL THE TIME. There were so many similar situations when my son was born and I didn’t know how to address them. Well one time I have had enough and told them everything I thought. They didn’t get to see their grandson for 4 months and it was enough time for them to realize they I AM the gatekeeper and in order for them to be around my son they have to follow my rules. Now everything is back to normal. As I said. My son
Omg. I got really angry for you just reading this. I am so sorry you have to deal with that…. she needs to be sat down and put in her place… your husband should be the one to do it too since it’s his mom and the message may come through better (& less awkward for you) if he’s the one that makes the boundaries clear. Ugh I really don’t like this lady lol