Please help

I'm at a loss and need help.. My daughter is 4 and sooo bad. I think that's horrible to say and it's not that she's a bad kid but how she's acting is bad. She lies, hits, screams, swears, hurts our cats, she purposely tries to hit me in my hernia and her dad in the junk because she says it's funny to hurt people. We've tried gentle parenting, spanking, explaining why it's wrong, taking things away, letting her lead and make decisions, time outs. I don't know what to do! I'm on the verge of a break down! I love her so so so much but I've considered sending her to her grandparents because I don't know what to do and feel like I'm failing! She laughs in our faces when we tell her no and screams "I want it!" Or "You can't stop me! Try it!". I don't know where she's learning all of this. Please don't judge me, I'm trying so hard. I've spoken to doctors and therapists about it and they just say it's normal behavior but this can't be normal! She enjoys hurting us and our pets.

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Have u tried completely ignoring the behaviour? Sometimes children want attention even if it’s positive or negative. If she tried to hit u, I would just calmly remove urself and ignore her. No words until she’s calmed down or try a visual aid? Like a sticker chart, she has to get 25 stickers in a week for a treat or a toy (something she can pick from the shop as an incentive) but obviously if she doesn’t follow what u have put “kind hands, eat ur dinner etc) then she doesn’t gain a sticker? Is she at pre school? It sounds like a learned behaviour that she has seen and is now demonstrating

@Courtney we've tried ignoring it and it gets worse until she physically hurts us or even herself. We tried to do a chart to for behavior and potty training and she would get angry at it. She's homeschooled with me so I have no idea where she's learning it! We don't act like this and don't watch adult shows around her either

You aren’t alone . People wanna talk about 2 year olds and the terrible twos . But 4 year olds are on a whole other level. My son can be really bad sometimes too . And it is indeed hard . Really hard . The best advice I can give to anyone is just patience . Patience patience patience . Odds are they won’t remember acting the way that they do but they will remember how we react to them . We have to better ourselves to better our children . ( not saying you are doing anything wrong ) Just in general .

That's the problem in America nowadays,I live in the philippines,I believe not every kid is up for gentle parenting cos they'll be sitting in our heads since they can see that we as parents don't do anything about it,be firm,shout,give wacks its fine,as long as u don't overdo it,cos that will be violence

I have 3 kids and never have I ever let them tantrums or misbehave,and I get compliments everytime on how good and nice my kids are,I will never tolerate bad behavior

It sounds like you have tried many different techniques, and that may be part of the problem. A child NEEDS structure. I think autonomy for a child is very important, AND we NEED to teach them that we are here to guide them. I've done gentle parenting and it did not work on all my kids. I had to use more focused discipline, diet changes (eliminated refined sugar, candy, juice, color dyes), increased outside time (minimum of 1.5 hours on school days, more on days off), and solidified my disciplinary techniques. My son used to hit me and yell at me and be very defiant, but I switched over to actively discipline him and he not only behaves so much better, he seems so much more confident and centered. Book Recommendation: The Explosive Child by Ross Greene was very helpful to me as well. I HIGHLY recommend!

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