Dealing with postpartum

Postpartum is causing me to struggle. My baby is ab to be 3 weeks old , I’m a first time mom . I’m dealing with so many upset feelings . Recently I’ve had someone close to me tell me I wasn’t a good mother because I was overwhelmed by my baby crying and there was nothing I could do to soothe him . When I blocked her I was told by my other family member that “she’s older she doesn’t have to apologize she’s just trying to help” . It’s been some days and it hurts I can’t talk to her but it’s not looking like I will get an apology . My husband works so I am here all day by myself and it gets overwhelming at times on top of having household chores . I’ve also been reminiscing on the fact in the hospital as soon as the baby came out my mother and husband walked straight over to see him while I was setting there scared and wondering if everything was gonna be okay with me (which it was , just first time mom anxiety ) . They just took right off as I was getting stitched up , it doesn’t make me mad that my husband walked over as we were both so excited for our baby , but I expected my mother to at least stay by my side while I was getting stitched up etc . Nobody asked how I was for days after I had the baby , it was always “where’s the baby” . No one even asked how I was until it hit the 4th day and I sat sobbing thinking about how I just went through this big thing and all this pain and no one even cared about how I felt . My husband has been amazing and a big help but it’s also so hard adjusting to the new lifestyle and situation . I miss my husband so much , I wouldn’t change us having this baby for anything but sometimes it hurts that we aren’t able to be as lovey dovey . We’ve been trying to figure out a formula issue because our babies been super colicky so that’s consuming our time and then before you know it , it’s time for him to go to work . I am lost and super manic , I just want to uproot everything and run to peace but where is that peace ? I’m scared I’ve lost myself :(

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I’ve been going through the exact same thing, message me if you’d like to chat about it

I’ve been a mess lately as well. Hoping you’re able to surround yourself with people who are genuinely concerned about your needs instead of coming around just to see the baby.

I get so mad when people say old folks don’t need to apologize for being rude, simply because they’re old. Like f that, if you’re wrong you apologize You definitely deserve one, and your family is so wrong for saying you don’t! And it is absolutely ok and normal to be overwhelmed. You’re doing your best and still figuring everything out. Babies are humans with different personalities so what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. It’s trial and error all over again. Do not let anyone make you believe you’re a bad mom for trying! I am also sorry your family didn’t make you feel cared for. I hope your recovering well Feeling like yourself again will take time. Right now you focus on your baby, which is normal. If you can, try to get some me time

I can relate to you a thousand percent. My baby turned one month yesterday and i JUST started coming out of the deepest pit of darkness i have felt in a while. Although this is baby#2, but alot has gone wrong since i gave birth. Esp btw me and my husband and me and my mom. I had to dig into my soul for patience, for the love i knew i had but wasn't yet feeling towards my newborn, and for the strength to keep going while staying sane for the sake of my two sweet babies. This really is hard and you are so not alone. But it will pass, what's coming is so much better than u can imagine. Give eachother grace, open up to him but pick the right place and time. My husband alofa sudden turned a corner and instead of his constant telling me to "get over it, just be strong, stop crying...etc", he started hugging me and saying "baby i understand, we got this". This is ALL it took for me to literally go from angry and depressed to happy and hopeful. They underestimate how much their emotional support matters.

We just switched to kendamil goat milk formula instead of the regular cow's milk and it has done wonders for our colicy baby. I can finally breathe. I saw someone on hear recommens goat milk and i had to try it.

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