Adoption?

Have you spoke with your health visitor or a professional to see if they can help? There is help for single mothers x

I have an appointment tomorrow with them regarding this. I hope I get the support I need😞

I don’t think it’s as easy to put up a 4 year old for adoption as it would be a newborn. I think professionals would let you do it as a total last resort if there was nothing they could do to help. I do hope you can get the help you need😞x

What do you do to destress? You seem stressed out. Speak to a therapist and see how they can help you heal your trauma and give you support to help you raise your child in a healthy way. Maybe parenting classes too can help. Maybe you can try to form a group with other moms in your area on Peanut that need help too. If you do go through with the adoption, hopefully things work out for you and your daughter.

I definitely wouldn't give up. The fact you're so aware of all of this already makes you an amazing mother!! I do think you do need a better support system, whether it be distant family or friends, I'm always up for a chat! Not sure about UK but in Australia they start school at 5. Once she goes to school, you'll start to get your life back a little, be able to work, etc while she's at school?

Hi, I work as a lawyer in child protection and so know a fair bit about the process for adoption. You would have to go through care proceedings first which can only be issued by your local authority. Your child at the age of 4 can still be placed for adoption at that age, but once you get to 5 and over it’s much more difficult to find adopters. The court will look at all available options first, that includes wider family (both sides). It’s not a quick process and if you’re relinquishing care immediately that will likely mean time in foster care too before they are adopted. Feel free to message me, I can’t give you legal advice on here but I can tell you more about the process if you would like. If you do decide to consent to an adoption it is undoubtedly one of the hardest decisions and only you can make that but really for your little one time is of the essence here as it gets a lot harder the older they get.

I’m not from the uk so I’m not sure if it’s better or worse than USA for adoption but either way I would maybe rethink this? I think if you’re worried about her getting trauma from you she will most definitely have trauma her whole life if you put her up. She’s at an age where she understands and you are also her sole provider so for her to have you then one day never see you again I think that will leave an impact right there.. I would also think somewhere along the line she will think she was the problem… I’m not trying to come off harsh cause I do completely understand being Burt out I as well do this all alone and have no family or friends to help so I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought of escape plans too but I think this age vs a baby will be a lot harder for her to understand why. I think that you see and are scared you might leave an impact on her shows how hard your trying I think the best thing you can do is help you your daughter will love you no matter what❤️❤️

I’m just wondering if preschool is an option if they are not attending one already ? Just to give yourself a break ? At 4 years old I believe they would be entitled to the 30 free hours a week . There’s lots of great advice on here I hope your ok x

https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/our-work/support-for-single-parents/

dont do this please. Just the fact you worry about her growing up with trauma its a good sine your are a good mom! now you will not bare thinking about the traumas she possibly will go through in strange hands not to mention the biggest trauma in her life will be you giving up of her. God bless your mental health and hopefully you find the help you need. if you need tools to cope with anger or other issues you can always text me. God bless you both ❤️

If you are anywhere near me, Blackpool, please drop me a message and I can be your support system. My father in law worked in the foster homes and he said they were awful for the kids, she is at an age where she may have to go to them. If it’s only about putting trauma onto her, I believe that her jumping around foster homes etc will be worse in the long run. Please speak to your health visitor and you can always message me if you want to chat. Once she goes to school, which doesn’t sound that far away, it will be so much easier on you. Xxx