Relationship falling apart
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He is definitely acting defensive and i would say embarassrd maybe?!! I feel sad for you feeling abandoned, I hope you are okay??? Xxxx
@Anita yes thats very selfish actually!
I can understand why he might feel embarrassed, he’s always said he doesn’t do that because it’s not being respectful to me. Which I think is why it shocked me so much when I saw it. But also, stop running away from it and talk to me about it? He’s been out of the house nearly 13 hours at this stage. I’ve been looking after our baby all day on my own and he didn’t even text to check in to see how he is. I think he’s just dug a bigger hole for himself and just doesn’t know how to get out of it or else he’s gonna break up with me. He’s changed so much I just don’t know who this man is any more 😭
It is very normal to argue more with your partner when you've had a baby! Me and my fiance were at breaking point not too long ago, I thought it was the end, but we still loved each other so much that we wanted to work at it. I know that I'm also suffering a touch of PND, which doesn't help! As for the porn though, is it such a terrible thing? Especially if you haven't had sex in such a long time, this is hard on guys. Men don't look at porn to compare you to other women, it's just an outlet for their sexual frustration! My partner looks at it too. It's only an issue if he would rather do that than have sex with you. Its not fair that all these comments on here are saying how awful your partner is based on this ONE snippet of your relationship!
I agree with you on porn, I don't think it's terrible, but how he reacted after, leaving while she is taking care of the baby. I just hate so much when men just assume a woman is a default parent and they can do what they want, imagine if she stormed out for half a day leaving a newborn, would be labelled a terrible mother. You guys really need to talk it all through
Well the porn thing is bad as it was actually him that said no all throughout my pregnancy and hasn’t initiated it either since. It just really surprised me as he’s always been like it’s a horrible thing to do to someone’s partner and that he’d never do it. A few mins before he had even said how crappy it is especially when someone has had a baby, and he lied cos he had done it himself. That’s what annoyed me more and even more so that he has abandoned me and my son. He hasn’t come home since he left yesterday at 10am.. which was now 24hrs ago.
I am so sorry that this is the situation you're in. From what you're saying it sounds like he lied to you which is never OK in a relationship and also has been gone for such a long time. It all becomes 'messy' with a baby as it's not as easy as break it off with him, but you guys definitely need to chat and you need to establish some rules / boundaries. It is not OK to leave you with the baby, it just isn't :( hope you're OK and if you need to talk to anyone, please just message me
How are you coping with the baby on your own? Are you ok? Xx
@Rebecca it's not the porn I think he's being awful for. It's the walking put and leaving for several hours and now 24 hours especially when she has a baby!! Xx
We’re doing ok, just the two of us. Im obviously so upset but trying to be my usual self around my son. I’m really lucky he’s a very chilled out baby. I’ve rang his sisters to see if he’s there and apparently he’s spent the night in a hotel because he thought I didn’t want him to come home which I never said or even hinted at. So I think he’s going to stay in his sisters for awhile, while he processes what he’s done to us.
I don't care how much porn mine watches. But what's with the leaving for 6 hours? I think you've both over reacted and need to talk it through
It doesn't sound like he's treating you the way you deserve. Abandoning you for hours while you're looking after a baby is just not OK.