Please help - MIL

Hi everyone. I truly need some help with this. Idk if these are normal feelings, if any of you have experienced this, or if I need therapy and some work on this. Ever since my son was born, it’s been really difficult for me to be around my in laws, specifically my MIL. I don’t know them well and there’s a language barrier, plus I’m a big people pleaser. So I’ve let them get away with little things like things they have said to me and done. For example, every time we visited my MIL, she would tell my baby “no mama” and try to take him away from me. She would take him to another room and make comments that he’s too attached to me. She would get upset at me if I had to breastfeed because she would say I need to bring him a bottle next time so that she could feed him. There’s more examples, but I just am too tired to type it all. Fast forward to now, my son is almost 2 years old, and I have grown to resent her and dread seeing her. I am starting to speak up to some things respectfully, but it’s still very hard for me. She’ll still make “mama’s boy” comments or even kiss him near the lips when she has known that’s a big NO since he was a baby. Last time I saw her, I was holding my son’s hand and walking outside with him, and she pushed my hand out of the way so that she could hold his hand. It’s little things like this that make me want to scream. And it’s making me upset at my husband too, because it makes me feel like I don’t want anything to do with his family anymore. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have any advice? Am I being unreasonable?

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I'd be upset too! I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant but already made it clear with my mother in law regarding some things that will be expectations. I wouldn't say that you're being unreasonable at all, but it's a chat for you, your husband and her to have. If she's not being respectful, then unfortunately she shouldn't get the privilege to be around her grandchild that much. I might be too harsh, but what you're describing is what I'd expect too. And he's 2, he can be a Mama's boy, he's not a 30 year old male still holding your hand 😂 x

I have issues too. Like when my son gets hurt, I'll be checking him over to see if he's OK and she'll just take him from me. Or I'll say no to something and she'll argue with my husband about letting him have it. A two year old doesn't need to have a lollipop. Or I'll buy something for him and she'll give it to his cousin

Oh Lord. I'm afraid I have no real advice but just wanted to say you are totally justified in your feelings. He is your baby and there is absolutely nothing wrong with him being attached to you! She is 100% out of line. Stand your ground. If she can't respect you as his mum that's not ok at all. Xx

Why are you upset with your husband? It's not his fault. Also, what is it with the no kissing rule? You're acting like your child is your property, and no one else is allowed to show affection towards him 🤨

Her behavior is not appropriate at all. She sounds jealous and overstepping. I would set boundaries. When you say YES to others make sure you don't say NO to yourself. Weird comment above saying she can't be affectionate. Wtf. Being affectionate to a kid can totally be done without trying to push mom away and bad commenting. That's not how being affectionate is. Also if she has a no kids rule, that must be respected. Period.

@Rachel kissing babies can cause them to be really ill, their immune system isn’t fully developed and prone to diseases, they can show affection in other ways bc at the end of the day, it’s her child

@Rachel No, children aren’t property but she is the parent and is raising him for the next 18+ years. Also kissing babies and young children can be very dangerous and in some cases deadly. I do not allow anyone to kiss my baby. But it has happened.

Set boundaries, you ur MIL and husband need to talk and if she doesn’t respect it then she can’t see him until she does. You’re the parent, what you say goes. She’s just probably insecure and jealous, I’m moving outta state to get away from family on both sides so I know how you feel. But you have to speak up or nothing will change. And like I said if she doesn’t respect it then it has consequences.

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