Advice needed 🙏🏽

My bd wants me back after he slept with the girl I told him was into him after being broken up for about a month. He swears it was never anything serious and he was going through a really bad period in his life after we’d broken up. She made a move on him very soon after we broke up and he rejected her. They work together so ended up having drinks after work which ended up with her going back to his place on 2 occasions. I always felt weird about her since my bd told me that a woman came into his work place screaming at her about how she slept with her husband. My bd defended her saying maybe she didn’t know. She linked arms with him once on a night out right in front of me to which I told her to stop. Also said to us that she wanted “something that we had”. My bd has told me everything that went down with them and how she did really like him but he tried to make it very clear to her that it wasn’t a serious thing. We aren’t back together but we are working on things but the fact that he still works with her makes me uncomfortable. I can tell he feels like he messed up massively for it. He said he never had any sort of feelings for her or intentions of getting with her whilst we were together or even after we broke up. She’s known us for years as a couple since before we had our son and watched me carry his child. We would go into his work with our son all the time and have dinner as a family. For context we had a VERY bad break up to which we both thought there was no going back. He thought I had slept with someone after seeing me on a night out with some of my friends. I didn’t get with anyone the 3 months we weren’t on speaking terms. There’s also a guy he was uncomfortable with that I didn’t even think about getting with just because I didn’t want to do him like that even though I thought we were never going to get to a point where we were even on speaking terms. Can I move past this or should I walk away from this? Be brutally honest I need to hear it whether I’m being unreasonable since we were broken up or not.

Show your support

You’ve already been disrespected, and you’re allowing it back into your life by taking them back

To me it feels like a complicated situation. Make a pros and cons list; Remember why you broke up in the first place. He knew how you felt about this girl, and still slept with her. It wasn’t during the relationship so you can’t necessarily call him wrong for it, but it is still allowed to hurt your family. He defended this woman even though she tried to do the same thing to you. Homewrecker. BUT As you say, he seems to know he messed up and claims it wasn’t serious. Do your instincts tell you to believe him? Personally, as hard as it is, allowing disrespect back into your life means you can’t complain if something happens again. But the situation is complicated, and children do always deserve their parents together. Whatever your first thought is (get back with him or not) go with that. If you get upset at the idea of getting back with him even though you still love him, don’t do it. You know what choice you want to make based off whichever one makes you feel worse.

I agreed with the comment up there until she said all children deserve their parents together which isn’t true they deserve two healthy parents and if you go back into this relationship you need to both work on trust, boundaries and respect especially on his end. But there will be times where that situation will still hurt you during your relationship. You need to ask yourself are you willing to risk that?

@Cheey My bad that’s what I meant by together! As in ‘with their shit together’ 😭 that’s that new mum brain fog getting to me

@Faith they are both equally as bad. I do love him and want to try to work things out but on the other hand I don’t want to carry this with me for the rest of our relationship. He still works with her so she’s not exactly going anywhere. I do believe him but I don’t like the fact they see each other everyday.

In my experience got back with my kids father after no communication for 6 months and he was talking to a women it didn’t bother me because we talked about her and he told me a story about their past years before me but then Found out he was talking to her making her think he was only hanging with me because the kids. Then me and her started talking and she was showing me screenshots and he was deleting stuff off his phone so I couldn’t see but he didn’t lie about their past before me. With them working together do you think you won’t think anything won’t happen at work you might have negative thoughts about them and that’s not good for you and the relationship the stress and the thinking what’s happening or might happen might cause stress and fights in the relationship. With my kids father we were on and off for years I kept trying for the kids but it wasn’t meant to be and didnt want kids to be around unhappy and unhealthy environment and 2 years later he’s MIA with them

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