Just a thought...

I can relate with my breastfeeding journey for sure. I don’t have an amazing baby like you! But she is absolutely amazing at feeding. She latched instantly from the first time I fed her, she has never struggled to take milk and I always produced enough of it. I never had sore nipples and she never had a poor latch and we both took to it naturally. But I still found it SO tough mentally. To have my body taken over by this tiny person, to be totally and completely depended on with no relief as we were EBF. To feel like everything I did was on a timer etc. But I felt like I couldn’t speak to anyone about it at all. Because everyone spoke about how painful it was and how hard it was to latch etc. and when I explained I didn’t have a problem with that, people would just interrupt me and say how lucky I was to have such a smooth ride. And I know I’m lucky, and I appreciate that. But I’m still allowed to find other aspects of that thing hard and I needed to talk about that at the start

My bestie has stopped talking to me entirely and I believe it’s because she really struggled with her baby where as mine is very similar to yours (except she mostly cries due to wind). It’s sad really because she has her and her husband whereas I’m alone and have struggled with my mental health at times so could have done with her support but it’s her decision I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yeah my baby is 3 months and has been sleeping thru the night since about 7-8 weeks, some people make you feel so bad just because their babies aren’t the same. Every baby is different i definitely got lucky but doesn’t mean I need to be put down for it

You should definitely not be made to feel bad. That's not ok. My July baby is just like yours. Very calm, sleeps well etc. but my first baby.... I slept on the couch in shifts with my husband for 12 weeks. Her birth was massively traumatising compared to my last birth and I personally was not in a good head space at all because of it. I remember going to a Christmas party with my friends 8 weeks after she was born and hating my friends who had just had babies because they were all positive and I had my first born and she was a tornado that felt like I'd broken my body for and was only getting punished for. I tell you this not to shame, because it's not your fault at all you have a great baby experience and again anyone shaming you because of their own struggles Is super wrong and toxic but at the same time reaching out and saying what your boundaries are but are you ok? can we do baby classes together, grab coffee or even just let them have a good cry and a moan is the best support if they're struggling.

From someone with a difficult baby I think there’s a few things going on when people act like this. First it can sometimes feel like people just aren’t being honest about their experience of motherhood when they they don’t find things hard. For me I think because I hadn’t been around other babies much before I didn’t understand how different they actually can be. Second when you have a baby who sleeps or feeds badly you get so much unsolicited advice about why this is happening and are made to feel like it is because you are doing something wrong and not just because some babies are more difficult (my baby has actually always fed well so that helped me see that some things are just luck). For example I’ve been told that my baby must be not getting enough milk in the day and that’s why he’s waking when actually some babies just do wake more. You definitely shouldn’t feel bad though and Im trying to remind myself that not everyone will struggle with the same aspects of motherhood

No you shouldn’t have this put on you and I do understand what your experiencing as I have had a similar experience with my second. I can totally understands that if you haven’t experienced the more challenging aspects of motherhood due to your babies temperament it can be hard to relate but I can promise you it’s not personal or meant to be mean it’s coming from their own struggles - doesn’t make it ok but it’s bloody hard being in the trenches and sleep deprived. I had both a baby that I had a hard birth with, difficult newborn stage with, is 2 and still doesn’t sleep through and then one who is like yours (although I will say she’s just hit 4 months - June baby - and now doesn’t sleep that well and is more fussy etc - this is often when those things begin as it’s the first regression/progression). I think just try not to take it personally and enjoy the fact that your baby has an easier temperament atm! X

Yeah everyone was asking me how I’m getting on with both of them, I’m like yeah tbh fine.. like having two for me is no different that having the one, she has her phases and her moments but I really have nothing to complain about, at this moment of time I don’t need daytime naps because I get a good amount of sleep at night, and she is a pretty happy and content baby, she has a witching hour of 7-8pm but even then she’s not too bad, I literally have nothing to complain about.. really she has just fitted in with our life. I get up on a morning and my oldest to school and even then I still have time to sit about and just chill in the morning before we leave! I’ve heard other people who has had babies around the same time as me saying how much hard work it is, but for me I just haven’t got that right now . Don’t feel bad, I don’t! I’m just happy that I’ve got the first 3 months with not really suffering and I’m not gonna feel bad about that, instead very very lucky! Xx

Thank you everyone for your input, it's nice to hear other people's experiences... Good and bad I suppose xx