Returning to work

Anyone else’s partner giving them a real hard time about returning to work? I’m 8 months pp and have returned to work part time temporarily (for my sanity) however unfortunately we don’t have any childcare so my partner is having baby when I’m at work. Luckily he is self employed and has his own business so we agreed earlier in the year that it would be fine and he was willing to work around me. It’s only for 4 hours 4/5 times a week and it doesn’t really mean he is sacrificing much work as it’s mainly evenings and his work dies down this time of year anyway. But since I’ve returned he is coming up with every excuse to put me off and thinks I should be a full time sahm otherwise I am selfish. Hes even offered to pay me more money to stay at home. My job is everything to me it’s my hobby and my identity and the plan was for me to only go back until after Christmas then I was willing to leave and work for my partners business aswell as be a sahm. I just needed these 3 months to be myself again and have a break. Is that too much to ask??? I really don’t know what to do as it’s completely ruined our relationship now that was already on the rocks but I just don’t feel like I’m ready to give it up and I would only resent him for it anyway. Please help any advice?

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He sounds really selfish and he needs to grow up. He has something part time that's just for him so why shouldn't you? He's just as responsible for looking after baby as you are.

@Tamarin my point exactly. However he is under more pressure to pay the bills and get us a new house which I completely understand so I have no fight when this is thrown my way 🫠

That's not the point, it's not about the money. The money is important but so is you having a chance to be independent and have something for yourself.

You say partner not husband. If you're not married becoming a sahm makes you very vulnerable.

My ex partner was the exact same but i realised that if i didnt work i was gonna go mad and it was bad for my mh so i explained how it was effecting me to him

@Lisa yes I know I’ve also been thinking like this and I already feel it tbh which is why it’s even more important for me. I’m not sure how I could explain this to him?

You've explained it fine here, that's not the problem, it's whether he actually wants to listen and understand your perspective.

It sounds to me like he’s overwhelmed by the 4 hours he’s with your child and just making every excuse under the sun to pass the responsibility back to you. 🙃 Tell him how much your work means to you and be firm. Give him ideas of what he can do to burn your babies energy like mums and tots, soft play etc.

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