My husband is ruining my mental health

First off I feel like he has bipolar depression and definitely has traits of a narcissist. Of course these traits were not shown in the beginning of our relationship. Fast forward 5 years and 3 kids later , every other day he has something to complain about and it’s always somehow my fault. He’ll tell me to do something and when I do it he gets mad at me and asks me why I did it. Another example, my friend asked if I can drop her off at the airport I said yes he told me he’ll go with me and leave work an hour early I said okay , after he got off work he changed his mind and said he’s going to stay home again I said okay . Then he started texting me telling me “why the hell am I leaving work early when I benefit nothing from it?!” I said “what? You literally said you were going then changed your mind?” Then he said “whatever” . It literally drives me insane . He talks so much 💩 to me every other day and he used to apologize to me but then I told him to stop until he actually means it . So now instead of apologizing he acts like nothing happened. He’ll tell me to “shut up and stop talking already” and then see me an hour later and be like “I washed the dishes for you” … what’s crazy about this is he know he treats me horrible and said he would go see a therapist or psychiatrist but never went that was 3 years ago. So bad I want it to work but deep down I know in my heart it’s not 😔