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Solidarity, friend. It’s such an adjustment, especially since our culture doesn’t elevate and support motherhood as it should! Careers are seen as more important, and frankly, career persons are treated as more important culturally. For me, it helped getting clarity on the *actual* value of being at home for my babies. Like literally looking up studies and papers discussing the effects of working outside the home vs staying at home. We turn a blind eye, but a consistent primary caregiver (preferably at home) is actually super impactful to developing empathy & confidence, for example. The hard numbers helped me see the value, along with thinking of my children as a lifelong project sort of. I’m contributing to society positively with them, rather than with my career. It’s a “career” and vocational shift, not a negative shift, if that makes sense. Anyways. It still takes time to adjust! Give yourself grace!! I second the value of developing other mom friendships 🫶🏼
@Rosalie beautifully said!
It's ok to have a big part of your identity be tied up in your career. You've put a lot of time and effort into it! You've faced situations that have tested and shaped you. The important thing to remember is that those things are not gone. They are all still in you. You are adding to them, not replacing. It feels important and easier to influence people (superficially) with money, but for now you've concentrated that importance and influence within your family. You definitely haven't let your daughter down. You are building her up, and she wants to be just like you. You don't seem like the type to sit around and grow moss. This is a temporary place for you. Learn it, love it, then let it go. Also, text your old coworkers. They miss you too. 🙂
Ladies I’m sitting here crying my eyes out reading your messages I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to respond and I know all of you are right the layoffs happened on the 8th. It’s still very fresh. Thank you for the confidence, reassurance and solidarity.
I would say make friends and pick up new hobbies. I like cooking, reading, walking and working out. Anyone can do these :)
You are not alone in how you are feeling. I was a teacher before becoming a mom and quit my job to be a stay at home mom. What has helped me is finding new hobbies I can do at home, mom friends that understand me, and volunteering to do things with my daughter out of the house. I got into baking sourdough, teaching in a coop, and leading a Bible study. All of those things really helped me feel more useful and confident as a mom and as a person. I keep telling myself that this is such a small fragment of my life to stay at home and I’ll be my own self later.