Am I overthinking?

So my partner and I had sex for the first time again in MONTHS. I gave birth weeks ago and we have been counting down for the all clear and it’s finally happened. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other and the build up was amazinggg. We had a few drinks and got a little high and keep teasing each other in the kitchen, the hallway, on the couch ect. Then I said we should take it to the bedroom and he was like yesss we will and once we go in there we won’t come out so let’s finish the movie and wait a bit.. (wait? Why?) Anyway I eventually convinced him to go upstairs and we got into it and it was sooo passionate and intimate and so fun. But then he couldn’t finish for AGES because he was high and eventually came touching himself. Once he came it was like all affection was gone and he couldn’t wait to get downstairs to play his game. He didn’t seem sexually satisfied he seemed glad the marathon was over finally. He was distant after that… what the hell happened? Was I not good enough? I asked him if he was okay and he said yes of course. But my intuition knows somethings uppp

Show your support

You are probably overthinking. It’s pretty common to have difficulty finishing with high expectations. Being high/tipsy etc AND not having done it in months probably left him in a place of “this has to be life altering sex,” as I’m sure you might have been thinking too. It’s also much easier for people to finish themselves off during times like this and he probably just got bummed/post but clarity after finishing that it wasn’t up to the expectations that he may have had. I would reassure him that everything was great from your perspective even if the ending wasn’t quite what you’d both hoped. Reaffirm that you’re glad to have the clear and can’t wait to keep experimenting with getting back into the swing of things. You’re obviously free to let him know that you wish he’d been a bit more affectionate afterwards because you deserve that! But don’t overthink it, sounds like he got into his head just like you’re in yours.

@KayLee this is so reassuring and makes so much sense. Thank you. I think you’re right. Plus once we went to bed later he was cuddling again. We definitely both wanted it to be mind altering sex because we waited sooo long and there’s parts of me that feel like I under delivered too because I was more sensitive ect But I definitely am not offended or bothered by him finishing like that because it lasted hours and I couldn’t take much more and I know he was dying to finish and it just wasn’t happening. Maybe the next time will be better with less pressure and not being high ect

I’m glad to help! I’ve definitely experienced things like this before so I totally understand your perspective. It’s always helpful to take away the feelings of insecurity for a second and think about it from their perspective, you did nothing wrong girl! Good luck with next time😉

Id say just over thinking it a lil. My husband is the same way after having drinks it takes forever!!!! If he is completely sober I have to slow it down a bit if I want it to last a good while. He's not a "minute man" lol but maybe a 10 minute man haha. I say don't read into it to much or maybe wait until the next roundevue' and have no drinks or anything and see how he does. I know after having 3 babies with one pregnancy being a twin pregnancy I've often wondered was i not as tight as before is why he would take longer to finish but turns out that isn't the case with me and my husband

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌