I hate babies dad

My bf won't take baby ever. I asked and he said you shouldn't see her as a burden. My sister always has her kids. You've had time to yourself you went to baby group. If you don't want a nap why is it relevant. You're the only person to think they can't do anything having a baby. I hate him so much 😭 I've written it all down I always do. I wish I had it recorded because I'm trying to gather my evidence so I can leave someday but is writing much use?? He could say I'm lying? I wish I could just leave now. I haven't because he threatened me with courts and they said courts will give 50/50 which I'm not willing to do especially since he won't even have her for 30 mins... God knows how she would be abandoned

Show your support

They won’t give him 50/50. In courts written documents are always proof! You will have to meet with a mediator separately and express your concerns and worries and get his side of the story and ultimately THEY come up with an agreement for you if you and him cannot agree upon yourselves and it has to be approved by a judge. Just because he’s dad doesn’t give him immediate 50/50 right. Hang in there and do what’s best for YOU and baby. Leaving is hard but not impossible just keep pushing through mama

My first child’s father always threatened me with it to keep me from leaving but I finally did and found out he was full of shit… I hope you can do it for you and your daughters sake.

@Kayla omg really 🥺 thank you so much for this 🙏 He is so full of shit. I'm happy for him to have her of course! Just not all the time or overtime because he ignores her needs and is better short term fun like 10 mins here and there when he pops to see her. I think then it'll be best I keep making records of his behaviour for a while? Try applying for a council house? And then go to them with what I have? Xx

Yes! Keep recording every single thing that works in your favor. Document all that you do for your daughter vs what he doesn’t. Please feel free to DM me, no judgement zone I’m just here to help because I lived it!

@Kayla thanks so much ❤️ is there anything else I should document? xx

Are you in the UK? Because here it’s different to what @Kayla has said. Your own written evidence won’t be enough because it could be fabricated. If you have screenshots of him actually saying it then that can be evidence. And the things you’ve mentioned won’t stop him from getting shared custody either. The only thing that would stop him would be if there is a proven safety concern

If he can’t even take her for 30 minutes do you think he’d go through all the trouble of getting a court order?

@Angel I am UK 🥺 I was going to speak to woman's aid maybe? I have reached out the freedom project too but I think the way he his (cruel and spiteful) he might try and go for it... He somehow thinks he is absolutely the best dad and person ever when he makes no effort. What are my options living in the UK? I've tried recording but I always miss it

Every state and almost every county is ultimately different unfortunately. It’s been about 7 years since I’ve had to go through the process myself but as far as I know a mother holds all rights unless father goes to fight for it and then you plead your case as to why you think he should only get X amount of time with her. Best of luck!

You can move out and take the baby with you and he would have to pay the money to take you to court and you can represent yourself without having to spend lots of money. If he’s emotionally abusive you can reach out to those organisations you’ve mentioned and keep a record of it (emails, letters, texts) anything you can. You can make a report to the police this would be recorded. All this can be evidence. If you move out you can tell him that you’ll only communicate through text and if he gets angry controlling or cruel you’ll have a record of that on your phone and screenshot it before he can delete any messages

@Angel I did the screenshot before he deleted them last time. Before this he deleted everything and now I don't have a record of him threatening to kill himself etc 😩😩 It's tempting because I know he will get cruel like he did last time, every time x

Documenting everything is absolutely worth it. Keep dates of events that happened. By the sounds of it, he doesn’t want 50/50. Go to mediation and agree on 60/40 or 70/30. The fact of the matter is, if you’re doing it alone right now anyways then that is what it is if you want to leave. The second part is if you want his help then you will get that when you split and he is forced to coparent and pay child support. And at the end of the day, he is her dad. He should bond with her. Look at it as positives instead of negatives and it will feel a little different.

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