Panicking - Returning to work/childcare

Absolutely I can relate! I'm back full time start of November , in a new job so I have no flexibility for the time being. And while I'm lucky I have family nearby everyone works full time so I have no choice but to put her in nursery full time. I'm struggling with this, it feels like I'll barely spend time with her The only thing that helps is thinking it will be amazing for development, she will have loads to do and will hopefully make some little friends too. It will eventually become the new normal. No advice really but I hear so many positive stories from people and their little ones, the separation anxiety stage I understand is normal and will ease. Best of luck to you x

It’s really normal to feel like this. Of course you’re anxious, feeling the mum guilt, torn between what you want to do/feel you should do/have to do. What I will say is, I was in this exact situation with my eldest. I felt sick to my stomach in the months leading up to my return to work, couldn’t sleep, cried when I thought about it etc. What I found even hard was that I didn’t HAVE to go back to work. I chose to, which made it all the more complicated feelings wise. Going back to work was absolutely the best decision. I went back part time and I could be the work driven, career loving me, and also have days to just be mum. Little one found the transition hard at first, as did I, but it didn’t last and soon he was thriving. He had bad separation anxiety, starting nursery made it worse, but then also so much better- he bonded with other adults, and learnt I always come back for him. He progressed so much when he started, and it gave him experiences and socialisation that I couldn’t

Replicate at home. I needed something for me and work not only fulfilled that but also the financial benefits meant we could afford to do lovely things, buy a bigger home, take holidays etc- all non essential I know, but lovely memories none the less. It didn’t affect our bond in any way. I never felt like I missed out on anything. The guilt doesn’t necessarily go away, it just becomes easier to navigate as you see the benefits too. It will be okay, promise!

I’m returning to work in a few weeks and your comment was exactly what I needed to read this morning @Chloe. Thank you for sharing.

I’ve been back a work since September, I’m part time but she’s in the childminders 3 days and with my mum and dad for 1. I have found the idea harder than the reality. She is having a ball on those days and is treated with so much love and kindness. I like to think she’s getting the best of everything and also I’m still able to have my career and identity x

My LO started very part time nursery from 6 months as it’s just her and I at home and whilst I get some work done even though can predominantly work from home I felt not only would it allow me to be able to do that with a clear head I did it also for her social development. And because I’m trying to Instill independence and no separation anxiety to her life. She thrived and is fascinated by the other kids. Learnt to sit unaided as soon as she started there. Has picked up lots of things. I think it’s us more than them that get disorientated by this thought of leaving them there for a few hours. But after the initial settling in sessions they generally do really well. And the nursery if a good one update you constantly through an app. I do feel if your circles small at home and you don’t have other childcare options. It can do them a world of good being immersed into a new environment like that and widening their horizons ❤️

I felt the exact same before I went back to work last month and I also have no family near by so didn’t have any other options. I spent weeks upset before starting but so far it’s been absolutely fine. It took a few weeks for my LO to settle in fully to nursery (I did half days for 2 weeks to build him up slowly) but now he loves it, he’s come on super quickly with eating solids and movement since being with lots of other children as well. I was so worried he wouldn’t be able to adapt his routine but he coped very well (much better than I did haha!) I’ve also found that as I have limited time with him I’m much more present and engaged with him during the time I do have so we still do loads of things together. I’m enjoying being back at work, I also studied for years for my career and I’m glad to be back doing what I love. Life is a juggle but it’s been worth it :) x