I’m starting to resent my boyfriend/father of my babies

I don’t know what to do. I feel so overwhelmed, exhausted and mentally drained. I am a mother of two babies who I love with all my heart. My son is 22 months old and my daughter is 10 months old. My son is developmentally delayed and struggled a lot since he was an infant. He now has early intervention three times a week at home, and occupational therapy weekly in Redlands. We live in Riverside. With our daughter, she was born with a birth defect that the hospital missed. Thankfully I found the defect and she ended up having two surgeries this year, repair of the defect with a colostomy placed, and the second surgery being the reversal of the stoma (colostomy). It has been a tough one these last two and half years. Not to mention, we were living with my MIL since 2020 due to financial reasons, but always paid rent and helped pay for other stuff in her home. When I first got pregnant with our firstborn, my son, in 2022, my MIL completely changed towards me. When I say she emotionally and mentally abused me, it was so bad to the point where I ended up isolating myself and having social anxiety. I lost my confidence. However, right before I had my contractions, she sort of apologized to me but knew how to sweet talk me in front of my boyfriend and her other son who was visiting from being stationed in the army in Tennessee. Not sure why she had him in the conversation as it has nothing to do with him. She basically was trying to gang up on me, however I proved her wrong with my boyfriend stepping it and being my witness. Back then, I was way too gullible, so I gave in and forgave her. Afterwards, she was sweet talking me and helping me with everything. So I decided to have her in the delivery room instead of my biological mother, as my mother isn’t there for me and prefers to go out to the 80’s club in Corona and act like she doesn’t have any kids. Because of that decision, my mother attacked me verbally while I was having contractions at home. So my mom basically had everyone in her family go against me. After the birth of my son, my mother and the rest of the family ghosted me for a month. Not even text to congratulate me or want to see me or my son. I see what I did wrong at the time, but she should know I have a good heart and give many chances to people without realizing I’m walked over until it gets really bad. It doesn’t mean that I should be shamed for. Everyone in her family acts like I killed someone anytime my name is mentioned or when I came by twice. So yeah, I lost what I thought was my family. Going through that and being abused my MIL was the tip of the iceberg. Nobody knows how much I wanted to end my life, but I stayed strong because I had my boy, my boyfriend and my little girl growing in my stomach when I got pregnant with my second born. They need me. I can’t do that to my family. I love them way too much. I couldn’t let the evil people win. After dealing with this for 2 years, in July, I had enough of my MIL’s abuse so I stood up to her and told her how I felt (respectfully) and that I was no longer going to allow her to disrespect me, treat me however she thinks she can treat me, especially behind closed doors, and not interfere with my boyfriend and I on how we parents our babies. So we moved out a month afterwards. As of September, we moved into my dad’s home where he had 2 rooms for us. We’re paying rent, however my sister ended up moving out, who she was supposed to take care of of our babies while I work from home and my boyfriend started his new job, but she didn’t want to be around my dad as they have a strained relationship, so we ended up having no help from anyone. My boyfriend got a nightshift job working from 9 p.m. - 5:30 a.m. with two hours of overtime, so when he gets home, he showers, goes to sleep around 8 a.m. I start work at 9 a.m. remotely, and have to watch them while I work. I do this so my boyfriend can get some rest at least from 9 - 2:30. I don’t mind if the calls are not busy at work. But I still manage to clean up after myself and the house, wash all clothes, put them away, put the babies to sleep after bath time, and then go to bed around 11 ish pm as I only have an hour to myself. On really stressful days, I go to sleep right when my babies go to sleep. I just got out of work and my boyfriend is watching the babies, however my son is on our bed, and my daughter is in her pack n play, while he’s on his PC playing video games with his friends online while I have to change their diapers, feed them, and clean what I can. It’s so exhausting. I tell my boyfriend to at least spend time with the babies, play with them, or do something. He just responds back saying he wants to relax before he starts getting ready for work. In which I respond back that he has not choice, he is a father now and he just ignores me or he has his headset on that he can’t hear me. I am so overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do. Am I in the wrong? I know he works nightshift and on his feet all night in a warehouse, but I need help too. He has told me once that I work from home, so I have it easier. I don’t know how to get through him. I’m hurting. I’m tired. I’m angry. I resent him…. Any advice anyone?