Can't BF due to medication

So, I'm getting put on some medication for mental health after baby comes. I've taken it before - was the most stable I've been since puberty!- buttttttt I can't breastfeed or pump on it. I hate that I'm not going to be able to pump. The medication I'm going on until baby comes IS safe, so at least i can still pump my colostrum until then. I just wish SOMEONE would fucking validate the feeling of "i know you wanted to do this and I'm so sorry you can't, it must be hard to hear that." Because it FEELS like I'm already failing my baby and I just feel so unseen and heard"oh it isn't a big deal" from both my Dr, OB, and bonus mom... but it's a BIG DEAL to ME and yall telling me it isn't just makes me pissed and makes me feel stupid for wanting to try. I just was hoping somebody here might understand.

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I do! I wanted to breastfeed but my son was born with a tongue tie that didn’t get corrected until he was a month old. I was lucky enough to be able to pump, but only did it for 6 months because it was so overwhelming and impacting my relationship with him, on top of having to supplement with formula because my supply wasn’t enough for his appetite. With second baby on the way, I’m hoping to be able to breastfeed but if not I’m going straight to formula. Everyone (well I really only talk to my husband about it) tells me “it’s fine, I was raised on formula and turned out fine, it’s better that it doesn’t impact your relationship with her, we can get most of it covered with WIC” and yes I know it’s okay but it’s not what I want to happen and I’m going to be disappointed in myself. Your feelings are completely valid. I’m glad you’ll be on a medication that works for you though ❤️

@Kassidi God, thank you. I was formula fed (was born at 26w so my mom's milk just never came in fully) but I just... it took forever for me to come around to the idea of it. Originally all I heard was "oh my god you don't want to BF? But it's so much better for baby!" And now it's "you need to formula feed to keep yourself mentally well, forget breast feeding it isn't that important" and it's like i genuinely can't win. I just wish family would PICK A SIDE. Because right now it just feels like I'm useless. I've got these DDDs for something, I wanna put them to use, geez.

@Christina 🤣🤣🤣 I know how you feel. No matter what you do as a mom you feel like you’re losing. But they are right about taking care of your mental health being super important for both you and baby, so don’t beat yourself up for too long!

@Kassidi thank you 🥰🥹 i swear I'm trying

You could always see how you’re doing on the current medication after your hormones start to change following birth. The reason I say that is because I have been on multiple different medications and then had to stop them for various reasons like lack of insurance and then when I tried them again later on, they didn’t work for me at all. So that may be something to speak with your provider about before going straight to the other medication. Just food for thought so that you can at least try to be able to breastfeed or pump.

Taking care of your mental health is so damn important, and I hope you feel really proud of yourself for addressing it now before baby comes & that you have a plan for after baby. In the meantime, and however often as needed, take the time to grieve what you thought could have been your breastfeeding journey. Please know that you are absolutely NOT failing your baby. You’re doing great.

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