Why do mums lie?

I agree with this post because I feel at times, you get quite a lot of mums only say the positive side and not really say how hard it can be. Even when they pretend to be enjoying it but are not. I all get there are the good parts (less of) and the harder parts (which is the struggle) I say the mums that just say the positive because, they just get on with it and probably have a set routine or whatnot about motherhood.

Maybe she's just trying to be positive

Maybe people disregard her feelings so she doesn’t open up about her struggles. Many people shame moms and just say it’s part of motherhood to struggle and just to deal with it. So she probably just suppresses those feelings and doesn’t wanna talk about it and just sticks with toxic positivity.

To be honest, I have hard moments, but I also know there is love in every moment, so do I struggle sometimes, yes, is it fleeting, absolutely. Therefore does it have a big impact on me, no. There is a big difference with having moments of struggling and feeling like it’s a struggle overall. If someone was to ask me now how I’m feeling, my boy has been screaming the house down because he’s tired and won’t nap, that was a struggle and I was feeling a deflated, so I put the sling on and walked him In nature and now he’s fast asleep and I’m enjoying some sunshine. So I don’t agree motherhood is a struggle as a blanket term…and I’m loving it! Perhaps that’s the perspective your friend has xx

This happens alot! People don't want to admit that they're struggling, as it somehow makes them ungrateful?! Which is BS! We're all winging it 90% of the time, some mothers just hide it better!

I have experienced this quite a bit and it made me feel like I was the only one struggling, I’m not sure why people don’t admit it, I think there’s a lot of pressure from the older generation to just get on with ur

What you find as struggling may not be what she thinks as struggling. A bit like different peoples idea of skint

I really struggled when I had my son. It seemed like all the mums around me were doing great, and it was just me having a hard time. Once I was honest (with myself - I had pnd) with others they started being more honest and it helped massively. It's good to know you aren't allow. Sounds like you're friend might be in denial. I've just had my second baby and things are generally better although my son is a nightmare at times. My friend is due her first in December and I haven't sugar coated things at all. I'd hate her to struggle like I did because she feels like everyone else is perfect

Not all mom struggle, or at least not all mom struggle as much as others. I would be happy for her. Not because you struggle means everything have to do so (it doesn't means it's not honest). I personally am very happy in motherhood. I had my kid "late", I am stable economically, emotionally. We are a team with my partner, we have good job and can work from home whenever it's needed. We are confortable even with zero support system. Of course we are tired but we don't struggle and that's ok too. I would question myself not just to be happy for her.

I think it’s nice to share experiences both hard n good to normalise the situation for other people

I feel like I’m the mum who comes across as if I’m not struggling so I’ll just try and share what I actually feel. I genuinely don’t feel like it’s a struggle. Yes some moments are hard but I’m here for it. I just do it. Yes she’s more difficult to entertain now and to others it may look like I’m actually “struggling” if we’re out and she won’t go down for a nap etc. but inside I don’t feel that way I just feel like I have a baby and that’s what being a mum is. I have the same dynamic with a friend who is 5 months further along in motherhood and she does struggle with certain aspects. I completely understand, accept and validate that so many mums find different parts challenging. I think the way every baby is different, also every parent is different and have different tolerances, patience, emotions and perspective. I don’t think your friend is hiding how she’s feeling, she may just be someone who is coping well with her motherhood journey most of the time

Maybe its that if she talks about it, it will make her feel worse about it, so stiff upper lip is easier

I think it’s absolutely ok to not want to share certain things, no one is entitled or owed to know our ‘struggles’ just because they’re also a parent. It’s also ok to want to stay positive, or to not see your situation as a struggle at all. Like someone said above, it’s all about perspective. Your struggle may be her blessing.

Yes what some people have said is true about people handle everything differently because different things stress out different people however in my experience I do feel like people deep down feel like it's a slight competition and if they were struggling with something that you weren't and then you come to them with a struggle they say oh no never had an issue with that etc etc so that they can feel better because they felt bad before, if that makes any sense, I'm not good at articulating things