“loosen my control” long rant

since having my baby girl via emergency c section after 24 hours of labour. the first week of recovery (last week) was really hard for me. physically i was in pain and couldn’t move without crying, but also mentally as i was mourning the birth i imagined. anyway, i don’t trust my mil. just down to how she treated me my pregnancy. she constantly argued with me, threatened to throw me out, called me manipulative, said she wanted nothing to do with my daughter. and accused me of trying to come in between her and my boyfriend. (just because i asked him to defend me in front of her) my boyfriend knows he’s a mummy’s boy, but he feels like he owes her. so 99% of the time will allow her to disrespect me and not say a word. babygirl is almost 2 weeks old. my boyfriends nan & grandad came round to see our daughter. his grandad does this “baby whisperer” thing where he takes them off into the garden and walks around with them, i don’t know his grandad. i’ve tried to make conversation but just get ignored. but i compromised with my boyfriend and said he can do it, just not whilst she’s a newborn, i’m not comfortable with that. his mum then turned around and said his grandad has brushed us off and is now stepping back. his nan also kissed her, to which i said to her “no one is allowed to be kissing her, please dont” and that upset them as well. i can’t do right by my own daughter without upsetting someone. mil told me i need to loosen my control on her. as the family is terrified i’m going to up and leave and take her. my boyfriend and i have planned to move to my hometown in a couple years regardless, but why should my boundaries, for MY daughter make you feel that way? i want to do what’s best for my babygirl and give her the childhood i wanted without trauma. and the fact she’s a double of me makes it feel as though god gave me her to see what i could’ve grown up like without all the trauma i suffered throughout. i don’t know what to do. i’ve already said multiple times i’m not changing any of my boundaries. i’ll come to a compromise. but i’m not changing them. my mil says my daughter recognises her voice, and i sit there and just wonder does she not feel bad ?? all the times she said there and screamed at me the horrible names, saying she wanted nothing to do with her, and now she’s saying she’s a nanas girl?? sometimes i just feel like she’s no she’s not a nanas girl, you did once say you wanted nothing to do with her. but i know that will start another argument. she could have an argument with a brick wall it’s so hard