in Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Should I tell my psychiatrist?

Hi all. Idk what to do, I'm scared to tell her, scared she'll hospitalize me. I'm 3 months post partum. I love my baby so so so much, and absolutely would NEVER EVER do anything that could hurt my baby. However, when I get really really frustrated with my baby, as in they're tired and screaming from exhaustion but fighting sleep and I've been trying to put them to sleep for 2+ hours and my back hurts and I'm crying, I get intrusive thoughts about throwing, spanking, or slapping my baby. I absolutely never would and it scares me these intrusive thoughts happen but I'm scared to tell my psychiatrist. Is this a sign of PPD? Should I tell her? Will she hospitalize me? I don't want to be away from my baby.

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It's definitely PPD, but it's mostly you need a mental break, momma. Do you have anyone to help support you? Family? Sometimes when i'm frustrated with my son, I look at his old photos and remember that I birthed him and he relies on me to survive. He only knows how to cry, his only way to communicate (now it's better. He can laugh and smile and give some small words). You're doing great. That little miracle is alive and you are strong.

I would probably mention it, but not sure what would happen after.

@Courtney my husband and I live with his parents so we do have help. When I get close to that my husband or someone else will take over and I go do something else but that also makes me feel a little guilty, which I know is silly.

That's normal, I promise. It'll pass, well, get a bit better. I'm glad you have someone there to hand the baby over to when you do get frustrated. See if someone will watch him/her so you can get some sleep

@Courtney my in-laws do that in the mornings for me. Because I'm up with him overnight, when he gets up in the morning they take him and I sleep until 12 ish

That's great! I'm happy you are able to. I struggled alone and I felt like uninterrupted sleep would've been a world of difference for me

Tell your psychiatrist. A med adjustment may be enough to help.

I’m a licensed therapist and I had severe PPD with my son. That could definitely be PPD, but a true diagnosis depends on the frequency and severity of the thoughts/symptoms. Either way, those thoughts are normal!!! I’m months out of my PPD and the other night was so hard that I started hoping an asteroid would hit the house so my 16 month old would stop thrashing all over me. If you feel like you are struggling, definitely talk to a psychiatrist or a therapist. They will nottttt think you are a risk to your baby. Feel free to message me if you want to chat!

This was me and I was scared to tell anyone. I would leave the baby in a safe place (playpen) and walk away.

These seem very normal! I would tell your therapist and just explain that you are 100% confident you aren’t going to hurt him. Some tips: I try to remember “he’s not giving me a hard time, he’s having a hard time”, I am where he feels safe and happy (when he’s not wanting to be a part from me), sometimes if he’s screaming and I know all of his needs have been met I put in headphones (stay with him to ensure you don’t miss anything).

So believe it or not this is totally normal. My health visitor told me when I had my son. The fact the thoughts are causing you concern and you have reached out on here shows that the thoughts do not fit with who you are. They are intrusive. Tell your psychiatrist and try to be compassionate to yourself. The first 3 months post partum our bodies and minds arent our own in the sense we have been through a massive life change. You will be exhasted from lack of sleep too. Reach out for help and don't feel ashamed xx

Ask a loved one if maybe they can have bubba whilst you have a cup of tea, or a hot bath or a nice nap. You are important too xx

A lot of people get intrusive thoughts postpartum and the key to your safety to your child is the thoughts are distressing and unwelcome to you; furthermore, you have no intent to harm and have sought help. It sounds like you could use some extra support, whether that’s more therapy, increased meds, or more hands around the house so you can get some rest. Another thing you can tell your care team is you would like to plan for safety when you do get those thoughts so you can regulate. Hang in there, it is so tough!

Intrusive thoughts are super tough and can be really scary... I kept thinking about falling down the stairs with my daughter OR worried about losing my temper because I was really tired. Taking a better regiment of vitamins, including magnesium postnatal, helped. Also, knowing that these thoughts increased right before my period helped me address them BEFORE they started creeping in. Wish this was talked about more!