If something was bought to you/for you, that you didn't ask for, and it hinders your life... should you be grateful?

I don’t think you should be obligated to use anything you don’t want or need. I would explain the situation and ask if he wants to return it for his money back or take it for himself. Or I would gift it to someone else. I think complaining about nice gestures tends to rub people the wrong way, but there’s nothing wrong with a simple “thank you, but…”

I dont think your ungrateful at all just got to learn how to prevent the climbing 😆😅

This is temporary and I would get that bench out of reach like I would do with anything that represents a risk. I would keep the bench if I liked it, if it is darn ugly then not. Children develop quickly and they will learn how to climb appropriately on that bench soon.

I mean just stop them climbing, if I was told to not do something as I child I didn’t do it again cos I knew I would be in trouble. My child is going to be taught the same.

@𝔾𝕚𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕖 How do you get a bench out of reach? 🤔

@Elena You don't have two toddlers do you? 😆

I see your point but also teach your kids not to climb or how to climb it safely. I learnt with my son that if he wants to climb he will so Iv taught him how to do it carefully. He still falls and gets hurt from time to time but I say to him he shouldn’t be climbing. It’s his own fault. Obviously give cuddles etc but he knows not to do it again. Because I don’t stop him now he doesn’t tend to climb as the fun of me getting him/him getting attention has gone. Can you put matts around it so it’s a soft landing? I wouldn’t get rid because of the kids. If you carry on like that there wouldn’t be anything in the house. Teach your kids no.

Do you have anything else in the backyard that they can actually climb and play and/or jump? You can distract them from the table but only if you have other things for them to play with…my boy has a 14foot trampoline, a pikler triangle climbing frame set, and a scooter he can play with (plus sand and water buckets for sand/water play). Distract them w other backyard toys

@Kellie Yeahh they've got all that, but they'd rather climb the table 🤦‍♀️ maybe I'll just let them get on with it and hope they get bored before they get too badly injured

I wouldn't let them get on with it necessarily because that's not really safe but definitely start to teach them how to use it safely, they will just keep climbing it if you don't intervene because they need your guidance but obviously get rid of the table if that's not possible.

Like other people have said u need to teach them no means no. If u tell them not to do something n they still r then u aren’t disciplining them properly. 🤷‍♀️

Please guys come back to me when you have 2 kids aged 3 and under, and then tell me that what I'm doing is wrong.

Yeah ignore all those guys. Toddlers don't have impulse control, their brain hasn't developed it yet. If your toddler follows all your rules, they just didn't want that thing bad enough. If a toddler fixates on something, they literally cannot stop themselves. You either remove the object or the toddler. Anyway. Can you turn the table upside down for now?

We are just trying to help honestly but like I said if its not possible to keep on top of the climbing then definitely get rid of the table or move it maybe until your ready to deal with it!

I only have one kiddo...but as a toddler, she learned quick that no meant NO. And I have several friends who had two under three -- or even twins -- and their kids also learned. It sucks, but you have to be consistent with it. You're gonna get absolutely sick of sounding like a broken record, but that's what you have to do sometimes. If they're playing outside, show them what they are allowed to climb on. If they make a break for the table, firmly tell them, "No ma'am/no sir, we don't climb on that. Come play on your swing/jungle gym/slide." Obviously, you'll tailor the exact wording to whatever fits your situation best. Redirect them to where they're supposed to be. If they insist on going back to the table, tell them, "If you climb on the table again, we're going back in the house. No more playing outside." Then, if need be, follow through. I'm not saying it's easy to teach a toddler to listen...but it absolutely is possible, even when there's more than one toddler.

Put a cover on it, line up pots along the bench so they literally can’t climb onto it. Put a gate around it. I had 2 under 2 and a 5 year old who climb on everything so I do get it. I would be annoyed about it but not ungrateful.

Can you put it away temporarily ?

Totally get it!! My in-laws have given us a lot of large bright colored toys for my toddler which I hate having in my house (and they knew up front). Also a similar situation my MIL asked to watch him once a week so we decreased his nursery days, and it’s been absolute hell for me. Trying to get him back to full time and they don’t have space on that day anymore. I’m not grateful for these things because at the end of the day they’re actually detrimental for us, not helpful. I obviously still just say thank you and don’t act ungrateful but it’s completely valid to feel that way.

No trust me I get it, not the exact situation but I was gifted a kitten from my man’s dad and step mom and she has made my pregnancy so much harder and I honestly wish it never happened now 😀 I was so greatful at first definitely and it was so sweet of them but now that’s she’s been causing issues idk if it’s worth the headache.

My mom bought my family a few living room furniture when we just moved, we highly appreciate it but my kids couldn’t stay off and would hurt themselves so we put it to the side(still to the side til they can control themselves and my newest baby is walking) I would say it’s a very similar situation but my mom isn’t salty you’re not ungrateful you’re cautious

Think about it! You can change the location or ask someone else to store it for you. Tell your dad you love it but will get it back in a few months from now. There are also rain covers that protect furniture in the outdoors. It is quite difficult to get on a bench with those. And out of sight, out of mind. I am also guessing you are with them when you let them go into your garden. Try redirecting them to something else... A mud kitchen, a sandpit, plant pots...

@Brittany Literally no, it's a very heavy solid wooden 8 seater picnic bench. @Ella Its not exactly easy to pick it up and move, or store, or cover up, or put plant pots on. It's circular too so no idea how I'd put a gate around it either. Thanks for all the parenting advice though on a question about being grateful 🙏

@Hya oh god I can’t think of a worse gift for a pregnant woman. You’re not supposed to go near kitty litter, what were they thinking! 🤦‍♀️

I’ve no idea what to suggest about the table but just wanted to say I feel you on the unwanted gifts. My MIL is constantly giving us things and it’s so stressful. She’s a hoarder and I like to keep it minimal because our house is so small. It’s a constant battle and often have to give gifts back to her which doesn’t feel nice. So no, it’s not your fault, it’s actually a pain when people give you things you don’t want/need/didn’t ask for

@Kathryn yes it’s so difficult especially since my man works all the time and so I have to wait whenever the little box needs cleaning, then I get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and when she hears any movement she will sit outside the bedroom door and meow for 10-20 minutes which costs me sleep because I don’t allow her in here at night cause she keeps us up :/ then she somehow got fleas and it’s so hard to get rid of them on cats that she basically has gotten them everywhere! It’s such a headache