Tips or advice how to handle 'bad behaviour'

My daughter is 2years 3months old and is currently being referred for ASD They are convinced she is on the spectrum but I'm here to ask for advice, her 'behaviour' is so so hard to manage she is my first daughter and I'm learning as she grows so it's all very very new to me I do have a 1 year old son aswell I'm really struggling and having regular breakdowns because how tired I am she is sweet but when she isn't in the mood I feel like shutting down I've tried routines but her and her brother makes it's so hard to stick to I am a single mother aswell with little to no help apart from 1 day on the weekend I'm just at breaking point and she's only 2🤦🏼‍♀️ I feel like a bad mum but I'm trying to hold on because she just as confused as me please any advice to help her would be so appreciated ❤️
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What kind of behaviour traits are you referring too? ❤️

@Kimberley she hits out when anyone don't do as she says, she don't listen at all when we are out she sees a park or someone on a scooter she will basically attack me wanting it she can get very aggressive towards her brother like that alot more I can write for hours but I assume you get where I'm going with it

@Jade she can communicate but when she having her little episodes it turns to repetitive noises since being at nursery her words are getting better but still struggles to communicate when she's upset and that is beautiful I will definitely look into doing that for her!!

Really hard age for emotions, lots of feelings that are confusing and complicated ! Hitting out and shouting she might just not no how else to communicate her wants and needs. What I tell my husband how to handle situations like that is to be a narrator after focusing on calming down. For example, when she is calm. Explain what she is feeling and why, how hitting hurts and what to do instead (stamp feet, play something else etc) I’m reading a book called how toddlers thrive, really recommend ❤️

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