Just want to vent

Do AI at home with donor sperm if he isn’t willing to get checked.. life is short.. is this how you want the rest of your life to be?

Is he willing to get tested? Sperm count drops due to different things. Just because he had a kid in the past means nothing. There are lots of couples who had an effortless first pregnancy and can't conceive a second baby.

"the only pregnancy he wants is through intercourse" ... Throw the man away, freeze your eggs is my advice. If you really want to keep him I would say talking to his family would be absolutely the worst move. I can't see him wanting people talking about his possible low sperm count. Doesn't sound like he's that committed, or it's extreme cold feet- does he actually want a baby? Cos most ways to make a baby involve very little effort on the sperm producers part ... He doesn't have to admit there might be something wrong with his sperm to nut in a cup to be mixed with your eggs if at this point you've already done all the medicated stuff. I'm surprised your clinic haven't done tests on him though, they want best success rates so would have thought it would be part of the process. I'm sorry you're going through this, IVF is really tough and I'd be absolutely devastated if my husband did this to me. I'd never be able to trust him again.

@Rachel yes I am thinking a lot egg freeze I didn’t know that they can do it when I am married but the doctor told that they can . He did his test once that’s when they found out that we need IUI or IVF but he doent want to agree on any . Thank you very much for advise on not to tell his family I really do appreciate you

Uh, this guy sounds like the worst. Or he doesn't want more kids and just isn't being honest with you. In which case, he still sucks. You guys need to get on the same page about your goals.

Honestly if this is the dedication he gives you for fertility treatment what's he going to be like if you do make a baby with him? He might be hurting in his poor fragile ego about his sperm but no one needs to know the details for why you're doing IVF or even that you were doing it at all. I hope the egg collection goes well for you tomorrow and you get a good stash for future reference. Prioritise yourself and get some rest after, do you have a trusted friend who can be there for you? As it doesn't sound like he's going to be particularly caring if you're feeling a bit sore ...

@Rachel I don’t have any friend I can trust on this I am going thru all of this alone because I don’t want anyone else to know what I am goin thru . Thank you very much

I would never tell someone to leave their relationship But if you really want a baby You’re not going to get it with him And you are not to old to start over trust me … my obgyn says all the time she hates when doctors make it seem like older women can’t get pregnant… if you are healthy… not stressed …doing what your doctors asked you it’s possible

@Keyaira thank you very much .

I think someone posted something like this last month. There's an issue way besides fertility here. My husband is 100 percent on my page when it comes to TTC. He got a sperm check before I got my HCG and has even gone on medication. I would sit down and have a conversation with him to see where you all are at the relationship. I would 100 percent not be going to doctors visits etc without my husband's support. It takes 2 people to make a baby. I hope it gets better for you.

I also second that just because he had a baby before doesn't mean his sperm count is not in the range it should be in. If he's gotten tested that's an ego thing. I hate to say it but his ego is before starting a family with you and that's a narcissistic issue.

@Stephanie thank you . I have made appoitment with my doctor to start process of freezing my eggs hopeful God will change him or give me someone else better

I hope you have family to talk about this with because it's a lot of keep bottled in🙏🏻

@Stephanie I do not have anyone I can open up to because my big sister is not supportive because she is lucky enough to get pregnant by accident and her and her husband are okay . I been dying inside about this issue for long time I went into depression because of this but my family didn’t even see that something was wrong with me . now that’s why i came here to vent and to get advise.

I'm sorry you can't tell them what you're going through. They won't even listen to relationship issues?

@Stephanie I will try to talk to them because I will need support if I do the egg freezing .