Hating pregnancy

I’m 26 weeks and have had a pretty rough time too. Our pregnancy was a huge surprise so my entire life has flipped and I’ve had to adjust my expectations of the future. We had recently decided we weren’t going to have kids and were going to travel and just have dogs! I’ve repeatedly told my husband I will only be having one child and have regularly broke down feeling sad about how horrible I feel (always nauseous, vomiting and sore) and how my body is not my own anymore. I ended up reaching out for help after having a huge breakdown at work and I’m now seeing a psychologist. She has reassured me that all my feelings are not uncommon but is helping me to work through them and feel better about this little one coming earth side. My psych also said that some mothers don’t bond with baby until they are in your arms! We are all different and have different time lines. But maybe reaching out for some professional help will help you feel better about what’s to come.

Everyone is different. Some women love being pregnant while others hate it. Some love being pregnant but hate being a mother some hate being pregnant but love being a mother. It’s weird and different not one story is exactly the same. Like I felt like shit most of my pregnancy, my husband just makes me a better person to the point where the way I felt didn’t matter bc I was just happy to be carrying his child. But I’m aware enough to know that’s crazy.. It’s very hard to distance yourself from the shittiness you feel bc of the greater good of having and carrying a baby. But like all things it’ll pass. It’s okay to not like being pregnant. It’s hard. You can’t eat, sleep, never comfortable and it only gets worse. All I can say is once you hold your baby everything changes ❤️ Good luck mama

I didn't really enjoy most of pregnancy and also found the kicks uncomfortable. I also had a bleed around 30 weeks which made me feel really disconnected and scared. However, I did again feel love and bonded maybe by 32. I absolutely adore my little boy but even that didn't fully come instantly. I don't think because I didn't enjoy my pregnancy just it isn't always the rush of love people say straight away and that is completely normal too, I think people are just scared to say. Have you tried hypnobirthing, I found it good for getting me excited for the birth and meeting my little boy, especially as I was super uncomfortable. He's my best bud in the whole world now, it really ramped up once he started smiling and I had my first 'i am enjoying being your mummy' moment. Also, don't be afraid to reach out to your local perinatal mental health team (assuming you are in UK) for support.

I don’t think your reaction is unwarranted or extreme considering you also planned not to have children. If it makes you feel better a friend of mine felt like this even after they purposefully tried for a baby. Everyone’s different, don’t let anyone make you feel bad for feeling negatively towards a huge life changing thing that is happening to you especially since your Husband isn’t carrying the baby x

My step mum didn't bond with her son until he was out and about 3 weeks old. They now have the closest relationship ever. Pregnancy is HARD and honestly a friend of mine said the other day and I agree with her, it's the biggest lie women tell other women. It is NOT all joy and rainbows. You're uncomfortable, majority spent 12 weeks vomiting. I only bonded with mine a bit more when I had a fall at 19 weeks and realised I did care because it was my first immediate concern. Until that point, it was just this thing that was happening to me and making me physically sick, driving my MH into the ground and sucking every bit of joy out of my days. Not everyone enjoys it. Not everyone has this "joy". And this is coming from someone who has wanted her own baby for YEARS and had given up hope that it would happen.

I'll also say, having your husband tell you you won't love your baby or won't bond and making you feel guilty for feeling how you do is not going to help at all. Take the pressure off yourself. It'll come when it comes. I'm 36 weeks and feel better than I did but I still don't like being pregnant. I can't fathom how people do tbh!

Thank you for the responses everyone. I do think I'm ultimately bonded in some way, I want her to be safe and well and I get so upset if I think she isn't. It's just been really exhausting and there's been a lot on my shoulders. I've been the only one earning and also living with family with no space to be myself or take free time for myself or as a couple. So I think it makes sense that I have moments of fear after all. I'm going to try to look into hypnobirthing even though I'm needing a C-section, and think of the positives she brings despite my fears. I'm sure that's going to help. And if all else fails, I get to meet her and get to know her, and I'm certain that the love will come. I've just let what my husband said get into my head a bit I think.

You will be completely fine. I hated pregnancy so much but forgot all about it once me wee girl was here. X

No I’m the same. Pregnancy has been 💩 😂 the whole process can be annoying mentally and physically. Men just don’t understand. Enjoying pregnancy or not is nothing to do with enjoying motherhood or bonding with your baby. How can you even bond with someone you still haven’t met yet?!

I absolutely loathed being pregnant! You are not alone. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and I’ve absolutely hated both pregnancies. The moment I gave birth to my first born was the moment everything completely changed! It was the best feeling in the entire world. I felt like I was on cloud 9 for about 2 straight months. So if you hate being pregnant, don’t worry. I think most women don’t like being pregnant. It’s just not often talked about or we feel ashamed to not have this overwhelming sense of joy of carrying and creating our baby. It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions being pregnant. Not to mention the 100+ symptoms we have to deal with every single day. Once you see your darling baby’s face, you will know it was all worth it. And I would know because I’m doing it all over again being pregnant a second time around 🩷🩵

I’m the same way. I’m looking forward to see my baby, but I don’t think of pregnancy and labor/delivery as a joyful, dreamy period at all. It is uncomfortable at best, and downright debilitating at worst on a physical, mental, emotional level. I try to enjoy myself whenever I can, but again, I think it’s normal not to enjoy the pregnancy. it’s not even about pregnancy symptoms. it’s the stress of insurance and logistics, the 24/7 need to advocate for yourself in a system that doesn’t care, the discrimination when it comes to work/career, the insensitivity and dehumanizing comments, the fact that your relationships and social circle and entire life are changing, etc.

Hypnobirthing is also helpful for c section, I used my course to make a back up c section plan. You could specifically into that and the main point is changing your thoughts around birth no matter what way it comes 😊 this was my c section plan Should the need for a C-section arise my wishes are as follows:  IV in left hand and to be removed as soon as possible.  To have a gentle/natural C-section.  Myles stays with me. Option to play our own music if we wish at the time. Being able to take photos after delivery.  Silence during birth so baby hears mum/dad's voice first.  Delayed cord clamping. Skin to skin contact in theatre. My chest area to be free of heart rate sensor patches to facilitate skin to skin.  Also, I agree with above. This is really unfair of your husband, he can't understand the way you feel physically or mentally. Pregnancy is pretty awful, the only bits I like was buying stuff and excited to meet my baby and that work got much easier due to adjustments.