Terrible mom?!
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Do you have enough alone time? If you're burning the candle at both ends and you don't have any kind of breaks, you're going to have less patience for her and she notices that. Kids are very very observant and reactive towards energy.
At that age she is still attempting to understand her feelings and may not know why she’s feeling what she is. It sounds like yall are both going through a transitional period/ schedule change and this can feel extra difficult to someone that doesn’t understand why they feel what they’re feeling, what they’re feeling, why it has to be this way etc. I agree with the post before me try spending some fun one on one time so she understands that you aren’t abandoning her. Also try to exercise your mind to strengthen self control. We can’t expect our littles to master the things we haven’t mastered ourselves. We’ve been around a lot longer and it is tough! Sending you love and good vibes 💜
Some good instagram accounts that may help: @kelsewhatelse @nurturedfirst @create_kids_edu @ruthhantherapy Feel free to message me for more if you’re interested, I’m happy to help!
They feed off ur energy so it deff starts with u. I say turn it into something more light . Like playful , joke, make her laugh, tickle her , or get down to her eye level and offer comfort and a listening ear. Sorry hope this helps my baby is barely 2 but that’s all I got it works for me
A couple things here. First, when kids first start school, daycare, whatever, it’s very common for them to come home acting WILD. Usually they’re trying to be on their best behavior there, so once they’re with their parent, they feel comfortable letting out all their emotions. Second, similarly, they are going to be on their worst behavior with the care giver they trust the most. My kids are perfect angels with their dad and grandparents, but with me, it’s a whole other story sometimes. Also, you definitely need to get some breaks and alone time. Recharging always helps me.
Sorry to be harsh, but she's fucking 3 not 13! You think this is bad? Wait until she's a teenager, you've seen nothing! My son is 14 and the last 6 months have been HARD. At 3 years old their behaviour is so much easier to manage with clear boundaries and structure!
@Rebecca are you kidding me? A 14 year old also goes to school, and you aren't with them 24/7? No wake ups I'm the night? They can convey their emotions somewhat? She's asked for help, this post isn't about you. Get off you're high horse and give the lady some help, if you're struggling with you're child's behavior make you're own post.
Good inside parenting podcast 💗 so sweet she really helps and also helps see things differently from your child's perspective too ans gives real life responses for you to use and everything. Like highly recommend it. Also something I had to and still have to do is repeat to myself "don't take it personally " pretty much every day. Me and my daughter trigger eachother often but I try to think (when I can) like I can't take her tone/words personally. And don't feel bad about walking away to take a breath before even responding or speaking. Give yourself a min before each response or reaction ans it will give you time to decide what to say or chill you out for a sec. Even at a young age they can learn mom needs a min. Mine had to. Or else I would snap at her and be left feeling guilty. It's worth it to take time when you can
I’ve been watching Erica Komisar on YouTube and she’s been a real eye opener on the different childhood development stages particularly 0-3 years and the reasons behind behavioural changes when kids start childcare She’s also probably directing it mostly towards you because you’re the person she trusts most, they’re going through a lot of learning and change all the time and it’s super difficult to manage and keep up with especially when you’re burnt out yourself just from daily life anyway, I hope you find a way to sort it
You need to stop screaming. You need to work on yourself first. She learns emotional regulation from you. You need to model emotional regulation. If you, a grown adult, scream then you expect better from her? It starts with you. Deep breaths. No more screaming.
If you like books, an absolutely amazing book on toddler behaviour, emotional regulation and brain development is The Whole Brain Child.
I gonna sound hard here but your don't have a toxic relationship with your daughter because you yell at each other. You are toxic to your 3 years old at yelling at her with no control. She is a 3 years old and YOU are in charge. Take accountability for what YOU are doing wrong so YOU can learn doing it better. I think changing the narrative is a huge first step. Your daughter doesn't have any responsibility on this situation. For good éducative content, I can recommend you those: Carlos Gonzalez (YouTube) Soyalvarobilbao (IG) Marion_cuerq (IG) Unamamapsicologa (IG) Nurturedfirst (IG) Some are in Spanish and french but you can activate the subtitles. The last one is in English. Good luck mama. It's hard but I think it's important to absolutely never blame our kids at any age for things that we are not doing right.
@Bethany have you heard yourself? I never said I needed help with my child? All I said was that little kids are EASY compares to teens! Yes, teens do more for themselves and sleep at night, however they have WAY higher emotional needs, as they're mega hormonal, learning about relationships and friendships, not to mention going through secondary school which is stressful for them. I'm guessing you don't have teens yet? Everyone I say this to completely gets it....
Hey ♥️ having just started daycare is a really big transition, and she'll be finding it difficult of course. Try to remember she's not playing up to upset you purposefully...3 year olds don't have the psychological development to do that! She's acting out because she's struggling to process the emotions and is feeling disconnected. Punishment isn't going to help that (isolation, removal of toys, etc.) it's just going to make things worse. I HIGHLY recommend The Gentle Discipline Book (probably available as an audio book too!) by Sarah Ockwell-Smith; not only does it speak clearly through reasons for unwanted behaviour, but gives you practical solutions for specific behaviours (including whining, yelling, physical behaviour etc.) and how to reconnect. Also remember that all day long she's been with other people, and that you're her safe place- she's letting out all the frustrations of the day and any pent up emotion with you...which is actually a good thing as it means you've created a safe tbc..
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...environment for her to do so. Keep reminding yourself she isn't psychologically able to process her emotions as adults are (and even we struggle!) Read/listen to the book! And spend time reconnecting xx
Your in charge she’s only 3 better to put your foot down now before she’s like 10 . Put her in the corner take away some of her toys let her know who’s boss and who’s baby . Redirect her by maybe doing some fun arts and crafts good luck mamas u got this .