Anyone else about to go minimal to no-contact with their moms?
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During my pregnancy, we found out my mother suffers from bipolar and/or schizophrenia. She also made news we shared about our pregnancy about her. It was really sad not having my mother to share this journey with, but I also understood that it was better for my family and my mental health and peace to separate from her. I ended up reconnecting with a couple of my aunts and they were basically my mother figures through the late part of our pregnancy so I still have loving support around me. I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I know how difficult it is. Try to find and nurture relationships with other women who are excited and want to celebrate with you and honor your journey into motherhood. There’s a book recommended to me by a family friend called “when you and your mother can’t be friends”. I haven’t started it yet, but it’s supposed to be good for situations like this. Congrats on your pregnancy mama! 💗 feeling your baby kick for the first time is so special
Another place you could look for community is a mama‘s group. Our small town has a Telegram group that I found through a mama in town, but you can also look for groups in your community on Facebook.
Oh church is great as well!
@Natalie totally agree. Very hard and very necessary. I also had second guessed my decision to separate from my mother and though I no longer do that I still grieve the loss
I'm in support of prioritizing health of you and baby. I've been no contact w my mom for 4 years bc she is abusive and refuses therapy to address her mental illnesses so just ends up hurting her kids the most. I started to feel bad when I became pregnant bc ideally I'd have a grandparent for my little one (my dad passed 20+ years ago). I'm 19 weeks and started seeing a therapist who specializes in supporting new moms and brought up my fear about keeping my mom separated / guilt for my child, all that stuff. She's been super helpful and shared that it's in my best interest and baby's interest to not allow toxic/harmful people to keep hurting us. She recommended the book "discovering the inner mother" to address my mother wound and it's been reassuring I'm making the right decision in holding the barrier to prevent us from further harm. It's sad and there are still moments where I wish for better but I know better by now and am grateful for the clarity. Sending love and if you ever wanna chat, I'm here
I went no contact with my mum for the first year of my sons life because she was treating me as a child and telling me how to parent even though I don’t agree with her or ask her for input. She called social services on me because I gave my son a breadstick so that was the final straw. After a year I’ve allowed her to very slowly come into our lives as I’ve seen she’s changed and it broke her not speaking or seeing me or my son for that whole year. We only see her now maybe once every 3 months and we will never be as close as we once were. Now my partners had to go non contact with his mum as she only recognises his older son and completely ignores my son or the fact I’m currently pregnant with her granddaughter. It’s been so much better for our family as the arguing has stopped and it’s just such a nicer environment x
My mom hasn’t even been there for me due to her holding a grudge from not taking sides in her divorce with dad. Breaks my heart that we haven’t spoken in almost 4 months. This is my first pregnancy and just want her to forget her stupid drama and be happy for me but she hasn’t reached out to me even tho she knows I’m pregnant. At what other stage do i need you the most if not now 😫
@Mimi same with my mother refusing therapy. And my father passed away when I was 17. My aunts and uncles on his side are basically becoming our boy’s grandparents. Definitely going to check out that book as well! Thank you for sharing 💗
Not a parent, but I’ve been no contact with my sister who I used to be very close to for almost 3 years now. Every time she violates it I am strongly reminded of why that decision was a good one, and I feel like my mental health is so much better without her in my life. But honestly not a day goes by that I don’t second guess things and grieve the loss of the relationship that once was so significant to me. It’s a very hard thing to do even though it’s sometimes very necessary.