Narcissistic partner, toddler & pregnant - help!
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@Mel that’s crazy, I didn’t know that! However, he knows of my thoughts with moving back to be close to family it’s always been a consideration. It’s so hard because I don’t know what’s best for us all
How far away would the move be? Would it impact the contact? Is contact still do able and would you be willing to do half of the travelling if it's a distance? You'd need to weigh up all the pros and cons for it all and have it written down then make a decision. If you do move then try to get it in writing that you have permission.. then state that you'll do this and that or will allow the child to go on specific days/times etc for dads contact. Atleast then if it went to court ( if you moved before this went here) Then you can state that it wouldn't be in the child's best interests to move back because of this and that... Need to somehow always be one step ahead but factual/ in the child's best interests at all times.
Are you UK? I’d personally move back home. How far is the journey? I’ve always been under the impression, that you can move, but you can’t fully ‘relocate’ - so moving from the UK, to France/US etc!
@Emily yeah I’m in the uk. The move is over 3 hours away. My therapist has advised me to move, she says if he want to see his child he can make the effort. I’m just so conflicted and confused
As harsh as this is, but do what's best for you. If moving closer to your family will make you happier due to you having support ,help with little ones etc then do it. Your child's father will have no choice but to work around it. X
I think you should move too! he’s already aware, and I think you’ll be happier! If he wants to see his child, he’ll make the effort to do so. You deserve to be happy x
If you can clear it with the court system (if there is a court ordered custody arrangement) definitely move back with family. Abuse gets worse when they know you are trapped and away from support. You’re going to want as much help and love as you can get when your little one arrives and even in the wait. Also, if you need any resources I believe Let Them Live has some international connections. You can find their contact info at letthemlive.org.
Firstly, is he on the birth certificate? If so then unfortunately you cannot just move without his consent especially if he is having contact with your child. there's also any court orders in place and or if he attempted court you could be ordered to move back. With that being said too, you also need to put yourself first. So it's a hard one to answer.. you will need to do what's right for you and your child.