I feel guilty :(
I wasn’t sure which group to post this in since it’s not entirely just about me and my husband, but also about his sister whom I am very close to. I had a baby five months ago and my ppd was hell. My husband didn’t make it better, he made it 10x worse maybe 50x worse than if he was the man he should have been in those moments. My sister in law is 37 and a half weeks pregnant and her baby could come any moment. But as that moment inches closer I find myself moving away from (I still am but…) the super supporting person to jealous actually. I mentioned to her how it’s normal for it to not be very easy to do certain things when the baby comes and she said she thinks it will be easier than it was for me because she’s been able to babysit my baby and see what it’s like :/ her partner is a bit more mature than mine and she stays home while he works. I was the one working and saving the most money pulling 50-60 hours throughout my pregnancy and had a savings , but had to return to work again 4 weeks pp , my husband wouldn’t be able to support us both, hardly himself. I feel so so jealous that she doesn’t have to worry about that, I’m sure her bf will be there for her and not let her be alone so much (first three months pp I spent 7 weeks alone at home or working but alone because my husband was out of town for work, because he left the first night me and my baby came home to go to someone’s wedding and left me alone that first week, and we were separated for three weeks too). I cried driving home tonight (we have been separated again for two months but reconciling and moving together soon after some therapy , we have had a few sessions already), but …. It’s so bad that I would feel better if I saw her struggling just a little bit but I know that I’m going to see her shining through it all, happy, supported by her partner, not having to worry about money like I had to. Just had to get that off my chest idk if anyone else had bad ppd and gets the feeling of “why couldn’t I have a better experience “ when it seems someone else did or willl.
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Babysitting and actually having a baby, completely two different things! When we struggle, it does make you feel a little bit easy, when someone else is telling you that they are going through the same thing. I'm sure, she will agree with you, after having her baby, that it is hard, and then you can support each other!
Just be there for her as she was with you.
I don't know how religious you are but your going through alot and you're fighting things will get better. I went through some very hard times after birth myself and I lead with putting myself in my faith, Put it in God hands. Lead with prayer.
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Who wouldn't have ppd with what you had to go through!? Absolute nightmare! You have to be a saint to not be jealous of her, it's perfectly natural. You were forced to be in your masculine energy when you were most vulnerable. Your partner is to blame for everything, he should man up. I went through something similar with some of my friends going through easier post partum times because they were supported. I was on my own and my partner was working 6 or 7 days a week, I had PPA for a months, I was barely eating and sleeping. It's all because I had no support or experience. But if course at least I could stay home, you were forced to work. I wish I could hug you! You're a hero.