Please help

I don't know what to do. My baby is 5 and a half months and for most of this I've struggled with PPD and PPA. I was on tablets for this but my fiancé said it made me 'emotionless' so I came off them. I have good days and then really bad days and want to go back on other types of tablets. But the problem is I feel like my fiancé is a bully, he says mean things, the way he talks to me isn't very nice sometimes but he makes me think it's all in my head. He says I'm loosing my mind and sometimes it feels like that because he keeps making me doubt myself for everything and how I feel. I sometimes don't know whats true or false anymore cause I say this is how you're being and he can ALWAYS turn it back round on me but he says it's the PPD and I can't tell if it is or this is just how he is. I feel like he's completely changed as a person since being a dad (he's already a dad to other children and had a really bad relationship which I feel has had lasting affects) and I just don't know if it's real or if it's PPD. We're meant to be putting a deposit down for our wedding and I know I can't survive financially on my own even if I went back to work full time and I'm just crying and struggling, so any advice would be appreciated.

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Did you feel the benefit from them? Xx

Don’t marry this man, go back to gp and ask for different meds

@Rachael yeah I did, I wasn't as angry or sad but I wasn't as happy or joyful either if that makes sense x

He is gaslighting you

So get back on them, and yes it is gaslighting! You need to prioritise your mental health and that’s being the best version of yourself for you and your little one! So if medication gets you through this part do it and fuck what he thinks! Been here so I can empathise with you xxx

Gaslighting 100% Get out of this relationship asap before you totally lose yourself. Money is not a good reason to stay, there are financial supports out there. Go to your nearest women’s aid for a chat and they can give u more info. Switch off saved browsing in ur phone as I’d bet he’s checking it n will talk u out of going if he sees you’ve searched it up. Whereabouts are u?

Don’t stay with him just because you’re worried about how you’d cope financially. I was also in this position, left; and although it’s bloody hard, it gets easier and there’s so much support in place for single parents especially getting back into work. I’d strongly recommend that you DO NOT marry this man. Marriage can only make getting away a hell of a lot harder and adds so many strings if there was to be a separation. You need to be the best version of yourself for your little one and if that means getting back on those tablets to give you that little bit of support then you do it! Nobody else makes decisions regarding YOUR body. Us Mum’s are strong, think about your happiness and your babies future. You are strong 💪🏼

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