Father in delivery room

Me and babies dad are not together and never have been, and I find that labor is going to be a very painful.. vulnerable time and I would much rather focus on it being between me and my mother. I will obviously call him when I go into labour.. but is it selfish to want to do this without him?
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Not at all. At that point, you’re the patient, not baby. Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable!!

I mean, I don’t know the circumstances, but if you and baby daddy get along, you made yourself vulnerable enough to create a life with him, watching his child come into the world is something he’ll never be able to do again with that particular child, personally I’d let him and you’re mum be there! Even if you make him sit in a chair head end, he’s never going to be able to relive that moment x

I’m in the same boat and contemplating the exact same feeling. I’ve decided to allow him in then delivery room however, I did let him know dos and don’ts on how to assist me which he agreed to. Also I made my boundaries very clear and let him know if he crosses them he will be asked to leave the room until baby is born. I don’t want him to miss out because at the end of the day we do get along and it’s our first child together. So as long as he isn’t adding any extra stress to an already stressful time maybe you should consider letting him be there and telling him what you think need to make your labor as smooth as possible.

Very tough decision. Are you guys on Good terms? Have you talked to him about it?

No it’s okay not to have him in the room cause that time is very personal

If you would rather him not be there, then he should definitely not be there! It’s so important you feel as comfortable as possible during your labour, and who you have in your birth space hugely influences that.

I wouldn't have him in the room either. He can be in the waiting room. Labor is just too intimate.

Nope not at all. Birth isn’t just about the baby, it’s about you as a mom and needing support and calmness. If you won’t be comfortable with him there in the room don’t have him there. He can wait in the waiting room and come see baby after they’re born

I'd never have my mum there I'd rather my kids dad be there together or not it's for u two both share together 💓

Not selfish. This is your medical event. If it would not be helpful or supportive to have him there, it makes sense not to have him there.

I’d discuss it with him and see how he feels. If he is ok to not be in the room then that’s great. If it means a lot to him and he’s really upset about not being there then see if there is a compromise you can come to (unless he’s an asshole, then he can get F’d)

Not at all girl, do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

Doing what is right for you and your baby isnt selfish! I didn't even tell my baby's dad she was born until 5 days post birth. Unfortunately hes a narc though and as my baby was in NICU after a very complicated labour I really couldn't deal with his drama and self centeredness at a really stressful time. 5 weeks later he's still not even asked how she is never mind met her.

I wanted to do my first alone, I wasn't really with the "father" he showed up right before the birth high, drunk, and some girl texting him. Took a "family" photo with us and he looked more fucked up than I did 5 minutes after pushing a human out of my vagina. Luckily after that he was never seen or heard from again. It's been 10 years, just had my 2nd with my husband and him being with it all with me was magical. World of difference. But if I were you I'd just have mom there. My first before dip shit showed up it was just my grandma and I, she practically delivered the baby lol

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