Relationships

I think I might need a little more context. My husband and I have been together 7 years. We almost called it quits once when we were dating and twice since we've been married. Sometimes I genuinely believe we hate each other but we always come back together. I think communication, compromise, and patience are key. We've also attended therapy which helped. How long have you been with this person? Have you communicated your frustrations? Are there just a few small things they do to make you hate them or are there huge red flags? If you are genuinely unhappy and believe the relationship is beyond repair then yes, get out of it. You deserve to be happy.

@Tracy we’ve only been together a year, he’s raising a baby that isn’t his that’s a massive thing to do, and we’re only 18. We literally argue every single day. He thinks I need to go to the doctors and get diagnosed with bpd or get put on meds. He thinks I don’t respect him enough and appreciate him enough. I think he’s controlling (which he has admitted) and doesn’t respect me either .

@Tracy for instance, I know he works 12 hour shifts but he can’t pick his own dirty clothes up, he REFUSES to wash up because he hates it, he comes in chucks his bags and shoes on the floor, I’m not asking him to be super nanny I’m just asking him to help me a little bit.

A year is not a very long time. I'm also assuming you had the baby before you were in a relationship with him? Meaning, he knew what he signed up for? Everything should be split 50/50. Do you work too? Are you living and paying rent together? If he is controlling that is a huge red flag and totally unacceptable. If I'm being totally honest, you're only 18, and I doubt the person you're with now is who you will end up with forever. So, don't make yourself suffer longer than you need to. However, if you genuinely believe this person to be your soul mate and want to make it work, you're going to start having serious ongoing conversations and set expectations for each other. I hope that helps.

@Tracy yeah I had a baby before with someone else. We knew each other a couple years back and used to work together, so we started talking when I was pregnant and here we are. He treats my baby like his own. I did work I’m on maternity leave, we don’t really pay bills due to circumstances so is free with money, has a shared bank so all of the money goes into one pot. I think we’ll make it work together. I mean we’ve got a kid together now right? He has his surname. They’re amazing together. I saved up 1k before we got together as a single mum working, that went when he found out about it, I had 7.5k bag payment and that’s went on his car. My 2.5k child trust fund went on his car. I give him everything. I don’t think we can have serious conversations, it ends up in arguing and him going “whatever whatever”. I’m scared of doing it alone, why the hell ive given him so much money as a single mum I don’t know. I’m convinced we’ll work 🤷‍♀️