Overwhelmed with anxiety and sadness
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I wish I could help you find support. You are clearly a loving and responsible person and your hard work isn’t providing the environment to recover from moving and pregnancy and birth and to spend the time you rightfully want with your new baby. Maybe your partner can start a crowdfunding page? Maybe reach out to people who you feel awkward asking for help.? Maybe ask your partner to pause his studies? You deserve rest and time with your baby. Wishing you the best.
With you not being at work at the moment and partner studying, would you not be entitled to any benefits? Like universal credit or maternity allowance? Worth a try to apply x
Your partner needs to put on big boy pants and support his family
Why did you pay his fees if he's not even working enough to support the family? I'm sorry there must be more he could do. It just seems like you've done it all, or you're doing it all. Who will look after baby if you need to go back to work?maybe he could find a work from home job, and look after baby while you work aswell, and he may need to pause his studies just until things get a little better. Hope you get things sorted soon.x
@Ebony thank you! As benefits are means tested and partner is here on a student visa therefore we’re not entitled to anything else besides maternity allowance, which I’m only starting to receive from tomorrow. However, it can cover the house bills, it is not sufficient for our rent and other expenses.
@Jody thank you. There is a backstory here which I’m not going to go into all the detail, but he had savings from back home (but the exchange rate drop has meant that his savings have lost more than half their value) he was able to pay off the first year. Due to an error though he was told by Uni either to do a BSc for 2 years or they’d cancel his visa and leave the country. He sought advice and it was the best to do this change and since I was able at the time, I helped him. Little did I know our circumstances would change completely. I do believe he’s doing what he can, as he’s working the hours he’s allowed to work (on student visa you can only do 20hrs per week), picks up extra shifts, applies for jobs every single day, studies and we share the care for the baby. The only person that can take care of baby whilst I’m at work, is him. If he pauses his studies though, he will lose his student visa (which means he’ll have to leave the country)
Thank you all for your comments ❤️. The reason I’m feeling overwhelmed is because I believe we’re trying everything we can to find solutions but seem to be hitting a wall. We’re a strong couple and proactive in what we need to be doing, but in this case I cannot see a way out and that makes me hopeless unfortunately. There might be things yet we haven’t thought of no doubt about that, but I can’t help this “stuck” feeling, hence the venting.
I'm currently going through something similar. My bay's father insisted that I must pay half of the rent until I move out knowing fully well that I haven't started receiving maternity allowance since I stopped working in June because I'm still expecting my GP to send a new matB1 form to send to DWP. I'm responsible for I and my LO needs and don't know how we would survive next month because I've literally exhausted my savings. I don't have anyone here and don't know what to do.