Please help😭I am very fed up with my daughter.

She’s 11, in year 7. We have to nag/remind her of everything like turn off the light, put your coat on, flush the toilet, wash your hand, bed time, brush your hair etc etc. She wears thick hoodie in the summer but a thin top in the winter as she says she can’t feel the heat/cold. She’s extremely messy and forgetful. She doesn’t wash her hair properly so that her hair stinks and she gets upset if we help her with it. She could spend 2 hours + to finish a plate of spaghetti and some veggie. She struggles to use a knife and fork to eat. She’s still very childish and exceptionally talkative. We tried everything like star charts, reminder, timetable and positive/negative reinforcements but nothing helped. We spoke to her teachers and GP about her problems at home and we wondered if she has ADHD. But the teachers said she’s okay at school with no serious problems. The GP said the feedback from the teachers looked fine so she might have a proper assessment later. (Been waiting for 3 years already.) She finally had an assessment with Physiotherapy this year as she’s clumsy especially during PE lesson. She scored 50 out of 100 therefore the case’s closed. I am feeling so helpless as I am so fed up with her. I hate myself nagging her and I don’t want her to hate me. But if we don’t, she could be very insensible. Would be grateful to have any advice. X

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It doesn’t sound like ADHD to me personally, but could it be autism? The wearing a hoodie in the summer/thin top in the winter, not being able to use cutlery, the hair washing. Girls do tend to mask until they’re in yr11 and taking GCSE’s. Obviously, if she’s hyperactive, doesn’t stop, can’t wait her turn, can’t follow instructions (so needs to be broken down step by step), not at ‘age related expectations’, fidgety, unable to concentrate/focus on anything for a long period of time etc - then yes it could be ADHD, but again girls do also mask a lot when it comes to school.

I can relate some what. Msg me if you like as I don’t want to talk publicly about it. There’s definitely something underlying here I would say. Have you done any research yourself? I think the more info and understanding you have the better you’ll be able to be for your daughter. It’s hard when you feel powerless X

I can totally relate to this momma! My stepson was also 11 when we were having the most difficulty with him and figured it was adhd but it turned out it wasn’t. It was just plain growing up and testing the limits/not caring as much. We improved accountability at home and kept good conversations about what’s going on in his life and that helped a ton. Feel free to pm me I can help out as best I can

Sounds like ADHD and perhaps autism as well to me. It could also be sooo many other things. Have you tried asking her how she feels when these things happen? How she feels about being clumsy, losing things, having to be nagged? Try talking to her first and then go see another dr to get her help.

@Chelsea thank you so much for your kind words 😭 I will pm you xx

@Ellen we talk a lot and she says she is clueless about what she’s done wrong and she thinks it’s OK to be forgetful. She’s very optimistic and bubbly. I have been reading loads of books about sensory and emotional developments.

Ofc np! 💙

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