Discussing colourism to a 4 year old

Omg so sorry that you are going through this . It’s not easy in a world where black is often seen as evil with all the ugly connotations in comparison to white. That really breaks my heart. You are doing the right thing mama keep affirming her and I think sometimes it helps to have her be surrounded by people that look like her not to further segregate her but I feel this this can help build her confidence . It’s difficult because there is also so much outside influences on beauty standards but all you can do is continue to try 😊. I hope that helps

@Wadzi thanks hun. She is surrounded by black people in her family, at church and play dates outside of school. That’s why I’m shocked that the girls comment made such an impact. Do you think I should speak to the girls mum or the school? Or is that not going to address the deep rooted issue as there will be many other versions of that girl in her life spewing the lie.

Sounds like you are doing everything you can lovely . I would talk to the other girls mum if you guys know each other very well but no harm mentioning it to the teacher just in case she observes this behaviour also in the future and for them to be aware might be better them hearing it from the teacher ? I don’t know just thinking because I honestly empathise with you ❤️❤️

So so sooo sorry I would have been heartbroken ! you as a mother are doing absolutely what need to be done with your daughter ❤️ I would address this with reception they need to make this right ASAP they need an awareness day Black is beautiful day I love my skin day I don’t know what but they need to fix it I’m so mad at them. I would speak to the school and the mum of the girl not in a upset way the daughter might be repeating something that she has heard and maybe if this little girl apologies to you lo it could have an impact as well ( not saying that she need her validation) It’s a work of everyday reminding ourself our sister our daughter that we are beautiful no matter dark or light skin

This is heartbreaking to hear at such a young age that young a child already has colourism put into them. I definitely believe this needs to be addressed as if not for the way you educate and empower your daughter she’d have her self esteem shot down by these comments. I know next month is black history month - is there a way for the school to address it with a child friendly approach?

@Wadzi thank you for your suggestion. I do not know the mother so maybe it is better to go through the teacher. If an opportunity arises where I can speak to her mother then I will.

@Nana I think that's a fantastic idea. I did want to be part of the parent committee so that my voice could hold more. Now this has happened it is something I 100% need to be intentional about to protect my daughter and other children. Thank you for replying and for your encouragement, as sometimes these things make you think about whether you're doing enough as a mother to protect your child.

@Dianne another fantastic idea. I will bring it up to the teachers tomorrow and make the suggestion to the head teacher regarding black history month. Thanks for responding to the question

I would definitely take this into prayer alongside these other great suggestions (expecially speaking to the teacher so this can be addressed in the whole class). The enemy definitely tries to attack identities from young, so please don't be so shocked. Pray that all seeds sown to attack her identity will be uprooted. Pray that her identity will be secure in Jesus and who he says she is. That it will not be tied to anything else (including her looks). Then Pray for wisdom in how to help establish this and how to help best navigate these attacks of the enemy now and in the future to come. Your daughter is blessed. You are doing the right thing by seeking to learn how to help her. Xxx

@Rochelle thank you! I needed this message as I felt very sad following a discussion with the school. Her teacher is going to address it, however the headteacher told me they don't celebrate black history month. “We celebrate all races throughout the year” 🙄🙄. This is something that I need to continue to submit to prayer. You are right it is the plan of the enemy, which will not prevail. I a teaching her that her identity is rooted in Christ. I just didn't think I'd be addressing colourism at this age. I will continue to trust the Lord for wisdom in navigating this. Thank you for your response

I would say to the school that ignoring a whole dedicated to black history (a topic which in large is excluded out of society) could be sending a message that there is something wrong with it. especially for those children who have awareness of it. I would also enquire and clarify if this stance stood with all other topics such as Pride and other festivals? I would tell them that it concerns me the messages she will be receiving in school (subliminally). I would ask them about their resources and books. What representation is available for your child? Ask them even in staffing. Is there diversity, and can your child see representation within that? Don't think it's too much to even write some declarations and speak them over her every morning. And when she can read, get her to confess them daily aswel. As my mum used to make my sister and I do on the way to school every morning. Tbh the greatest weapon you have is prayer and the word of God. It will not return void so and pray for practical wisdom. X