Over bearing mothers/MIL’s
Show your support
It sounds like it’s coming from a place of excitement and they just don’t know how to reel it in. In order to avoid any misunderstandings or escalating the conversation into a big fight where they withdraw all support, you can try to deliver your message with the happy sandwich method, where you deliver the critical feedback with one positive, one negative and one positive feedback. It helps to cushion the blow and the other person is more receptive to you, rather than going in the defensive and feeling attacked. You can say something along the lines of how excited you are to see her embrace her role as grandma and how grateful you are for all the help you will be getting from such a supportive grandma. You just fear that things might be moving too fast that it’s overwhelming you. Express your concerns about how she may be wasting a lot of $ and later come to regret it if it doesn’t come in use, and you’ll feel guilty, so let’s all just take it slow and purchase as the need arises.
It really depends on the overall situation. It’s great they are supportive but continue to set those boundaries. If you can, have your partner verbally back them up with you. Unfortunately, I had to go no contact with my mother because she would fight with me over every little thing my partner and I decided on (not giving our address for privacy reasons, not wanting her in our home because of her behavior, what we are going to mostly dress our daughter in, how we plan to raise our child, not being in certain appointments, etc). Because of this, she threw me out of her house when I was 5 months pregnant. I’m almost 7 months now. It got so bad, it was affecting the health of both me and my child, still the fighting did not stop. I hope this does not happen to anyone. Continue to set those boundaries and have clear communication with them. She might be getting all those things in case you need a break sometimes or need someone to watch your little one. Breathing techniques also help
I think moms of daughters assume they will be the “main” grandma Im blessed my mom helps a lot with my firstborn but mostly because they are things I legit ask for and not just her playing second momma (which I get it, it makes me feel weird on occasion when she accidentally does this tbh) Just thank her but remind her these things might be best at YOUR place if she ever wants to bring them over instead. Or she can return and get you a gift card for what YOU would need: you know what’s best what you need 🙂