I want to leave
Show your support
Record him when you can. Write down all incidents. Write down all the responsibilities for the baby he neglects, the things he says to you, how he treats you, how he treats your child. Idk how it works over there but evidence is evidence and if he is unfit then he shouldn’t be granted more than visitation at a center if that’s where YOU feel comfortable with them visiting if he even gets any at all. Staying only makes it harder, I lived it. Get out as fast and as safely as you can. Make an escape plan and don’t ever look back!!!!
I left mine for good in September 2023. He threatened me with court constantly. 1 year later he hasn’t even seen our child at all (by his choice). Men like this just like to threaten us to stop us leaving but realistically they’re useless at being a parent and would never survive doing it like we do
I can ask my friend about these domestic violence shelters, she was in one of them about 1 - 2 years ago with her 4 kids she has a council house in different town and is safe, he has the kids now every other weekend I think but he hasn't seen them for a very long time at all xxx
@Charlotte what was he like beforehand? Mine bothers to make her smile every few hours but doesn't take any responsibility for her and I worry this man is delusional enough to think he could handle our baby 24/7 when in reality he has done one nappy change within a whole week xx
@Kayla I've been trying my best to get as much evidence as possible but 90% is just my accounts written down so not real solid evidence just so I don't forget really with my baby brain. I'm trying my best to get out but I think it's going to take ages 😩 I don't want to just leave asap and have him fly off the handle and try take baby out of spite xx
Useless. Refused to get up for night feeds during the week as ‘he had work’ and I could ‘nap through the day’. On a weekend when he did get up for them he would do everything in his power to wake me up. Through the week he would come home from work and not even say hello to her before going upstairs for a 20-25 minute long shower and then come down and expect me to start making his tea straight away for him. Then he would go to bed like he’s had the hardest day ever. Weekends we’d rarely spend time with eachother cos I used to complain I didn’t want to go out and do ‘showy’ things and rather spend actual quality time together. But he wants the ‘showy’ things. I had absolutely nothing when I left (apart from my family) and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Living my life without anxiety (well not totally) is so much better than putting up with him. Xx
@Charlotte you're definitely better off 💕 I do have family but I just know he will torment me if I leave him and he will use our baby to get to me. He's only ever done a bottle feed to argue with me that he's going to raise her on his own or that I'm a bad mam etc. I hate this man so much. I'm not unfair either I tried to leave and said he can see her anytime he likes because if I go off how much he has her now I know it wouldn't be all day everyday anyways, but she lives with me and he wouldn't have it xx
Please message me directly if you need someone to talk to about this girl. I can help as much as I can and be your support if you need it. I know it’s scary I lived through it myself. I’m a NO JUDGEMENT ZONE! Written down is the BEST evidence to have!!!
slight different situation, but similar to @Charlotte mine threatened court constantly during pregnancy if we didn’t make things civil and i wasn’t allowing him time with her. baby came and he barely set up visits but him and his mom started threatening court again cuz he wasn’t getting “the time he wanted/needed to bond.” his last visit he had (3rd), i had denied him unsupervised visiting and since that day, he’s long gone. 4 months no contact and coming up to 5 months no visits
also, evidence evidence evidence. record everything and take screenshots if possible
Find a shelter baby, and make sure you are collecting evidence on why you think he is an unfit parent.
My ex husband use to say that I recorded everything screenshot everything and printed everything and won. Don't let him scare you with all the evidence you have. If you can find a shelter like Sherane said and get out
I had this. He tormented me for a long time and he knew how much using our daughter affected me and he used it as much as he could. I was fair, with everything. When I first moved out of our home, He expected to be having her 50/50 and I told him it wasn’t possible as he worked full time Monday-Friday and wouldn’t drop his hours. They just say things to get you up a height but you have the strength to, walk away now and don’t look back. You will thank yourself in the future. I am only 1 year down xx
I have a folder in my phone that I’ll never delete with screenshots of all conversations with him for if the time ever comes he takes me to court. But he won’t stand a chance x
Seek out mother baby shelters in an area that you are familiar with, move away with family that he doesn't know about. Get the authorities involved and keep a paper trail. Take him to court before he takes you.